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IN MEMORY
What I’m Listening 2
Monthly Archives: January 2010
Searching for my memory
I am ready and armed with today’s post. It’s been jumbling around in my head for hours. Oh no! No, no, no, no, no! [Groan] I just forgot what I was going to write about! I don’t even remember what the subject was! Is anybody home up there? Anybody! Complete silence. Sigh… Where oh where has my memory gone? Maybe if I do something else for a while I can remember what is was I wanted to talk about. Yeah, …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, FMS, memory, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), personal
24 Comments
I am not alone…
Tonight the wind is whipping about outside, howling… alerting me to the wintry storm that is headed my way. Night has come and the wind keeps bumping up against my windows, reminding me of its presence. I cannot see my wonderful view tonight for mother nature has obscured it from my sight. Freezing rain clings to the window panels allowing me just a glimpse of what lays beyond the glass. The long lines of dripped, frozen rain, and the thousands …
On my terms…
I can’t remember the last time I cleaned my apartment, did laundry from start to finish, and accomplished all the other mundane things one does to keep things in their lives organized, in one day. I recall a time when I would get up at 5 a.m. to start my day. By 8 a.m. when the rest of the world was just getting up and engaging in their day, I had put in my run for the day, cleaned house …
The dreaded 10 day…
I wish you could have seen my view tonight. The sky was this incredible teal color as night was falling. Stunning! Unfortunately, today is the dreaded 10 day. Today is a horrible day. I have been sitting here for about 30 minutes trying to figure out if I could sit up long enough to write today’s post. I find if I hold my head to the side – it’s just too heavy today to hold straight up - and sit …
I dream of the day when people will say, “Oh!”
Forty blogs. Forty unique individuals. Forty stories. Forty lives severely impacted by CFIDS or FMS. Tonight, I read the stories of 40 CFIDS/FMS suffers from Australia to Ireland to Canada to America and everywhere in between. The struggles and the stories varied depending on the degree of severity and disability. But there was one thing theme that seemed to reverberate throughout the blogosphere.
A few of MY favorite things…
Today is my second week of this new adventure. Thank you so very much for coming along with me on this journey. 884 of you decided to do just that in these past two weeks. You have proved me wrong and my college professors right! I can’t even begin to tell you how much that blesses me! I have determined that I am in an extended crash – lingo for a severe relapse - but despite that my heart and …
Lessons learned
Thankfully when I awoke today, I knew it would be a better day. Despite that, I chose to take it really easy and to spend the day watching movies. For some reason I have had a yearning, as of late, to watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy again. So that is what I decided to do. Many people wonder how I have continued on this journey that I unwittingly found myself on. If I had been asked if I …
The goal today isn’t to achieve…
I hoped today would be a good day. I have been diligently trying to rest as much as possible and have even resorted to taking 2 hour naps when needed. Today, my wish would not be granted. When I awoke to the whining of Dekker begging me to get up, I felt as if my body had been filled with sand. Every thing about me felt heavy. Pushing myself upright and out of bed was impossible. Thankfully Dekker was fine …
The benefits of social media and living with CFIDS/FMS
I just sat down with my hot cup of PG tips tea and snuck a peek out my window. The view tonight is incredibly beautiful. I have always been drawn to the city lights at night. There is something majestic about the quietness of the hour and the brilliance of all those lights. It’s as if, even in the darkest of hours, we are letting the cosmos know we are still here and thriving. I like that. There was a …
Refusing to lose at WINNING!
I spent yesterday working on and following the Senate race in Massachusetts. I was stationed at Hanscom Air Force Base (HAFB) in the late 1980′s. My daughter, grand-daughter and son-in-law-to-be currently live there, as well as my brother and his family, and my middle sister and her family. So…you could say I have much invested in Massachusetts. Anyway, I have been involved in what was transpiring in this particular Senate race through Tea Party Patriots of which I am …
Fogged In…
A couple of days ago, I sat here watching the fog roll in. It waned in and out throughout the day and then returned with a vengeance at night. I was intrigued to see how at different times during that 24 hour period, the look and feel of the fog changed. There were times that is was so thick I could not see across the river. Yet, at other times, I could see slivers of the many buildings downtown, trying …
Easing the blows of CFIDS/FMS with laughter
I wanted to thank each and every person who visited my blog in its first week. You all made my first week amazing! I thought you might like to know that in the first week of this journey, I had 479 people visit my blog. You have exceeded even my wildest expectations! I am humbly thankful for each and every person who dropped by last week. Now on to today’s post…
It WILL come
My favorite time to write is when the sun goes down and the lights of the city come on. If there is a slight breeze, the lights will shimmer along the water, dispersing hues of blue, gold, and orange. The river becomes a large sheet of glass, displaying the dancing embers of the city lights. The dogs have stopped barking. There is no repetitive pounding emanating from my neighbors house as he plays endless hours of video games. The city …
FOUR life-lessons my PUGS taught ME
The view out my window is lovely today. The water looks blue (and that doesn’t happen all too often as the Arkansas river is muddy water!) and the sky has this woven pattern of pale blue and white ribbons. The snow is almost gone and the wildlife on the bird sanctuary in the middle of the river are fluttering about, busy with the days business. There’s even a lone individual trying to catch tonight’s dinner! On my window sill sits …
Running into PERSPECTIVE
As I prepare to write my post for today, I find my mind constantly drifting to the 7.0 earthquake that hit Haiti. A recent commenter on my blog wrote that reading that particular day in my life was like running into perspective. Well, perspective happens for me as well. I realize to many people that my life may seem very difficult, if not impossible. But I have come to understand that while I may have it worse off than some, …
The Spoon Theory
I sit here in the early hours of the day, sipping a cup of my favorite tea from England - PG Tips – while Dekker lies comfortably snuggled up on my lap, quietly snoring away. As I look out the window of my view, fog has blanketed our fair city. Although night has given rise to morning, morning has found herself cloaked in a heavy, gray blanket that has wrapped itself around her. Lights peek through the haze, alerting me …
To be (in pain) or not to be
Well…today is a better day. I am always thankful for those “new mercies” when they arrive. As I sit here looking out beyond my 4Walls at my incredible view, I am thankful that even when I am unable to spend much time outside, I have a beautiful view to look at and keep me company. Yesterday, I read through all my journals since 1992. I have been writing in some form or fashion for as long as I can remember …
MY New Year’s MISTAKE
If you think launching a brand new blog is a lot of pressure, you would be right. But imagine if you started getting emails and comments about how people are looking forward to your launch and can’t wait. Now that is pressure! But then again, I am always up to a challenge, so here goes! Because of the incredible interest in this blog, I have been pondering what to write for my first post. I was going back and forth …
Launching Date SET!
Okay. So you are probably wondering where are the new posts, right? Well, I have been slowly transferring my website from Blogger to WordPress with the help of my good friend, Larry. I am almost done with the “tweaking” but have a couple more things to do before I feel like this will be ready to launch. However, the good news is…
4Walls and A View
The purpose of this blog is to share, as transparently as possible, the real challenges of living with Chronic Fatigue & Immune Dysfunction Syndrome (CFIDS) and Fibromyalgia (FMS). Sometimes it may not be pretty, but then these illnesses never are. Other times, it will reveal how I overcome the daily obstacles I incur, or what I choose to do with a ‘good day’. In addition…
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