To be (in pain) or not to be

Well…today is a better day.  I am always thankful for those “new mercies” when they arrive.  As I sit here looking out beyond my 4Walls at my incredible view, I am thankful that even when I am unable to spend much time outside, I have a beautiful view to look at and keep me company.

Yesterday, I read through all my journals since 1992.  I have been writing in some form or fashion for as long as I can remember so, journals are just a natural progression out of that innate desire inside of me.  It was amazing to look back and see what my thought process was like back then in regards to these illnesses.  And, it was amazing to see just how far I really have come.

One of the recurring ‘themes, if you will, that I spoke about in my journals, over and over, was the issue of pain.

It is one aspect of both illness that I just can’t seem to escape.  In Fibromyalgia (FMS), the pain is unbearable.  There really is no other way to describe it.  I often liken the FMS pain to that of a body builder or runner.  Your taught to keep pushing until you feel that burn and then push a little more, or, at least you were told to do that when I was avidly doing both.

Anyway, that buildup of lactic acid is essentially the same sort of pain I have except multiply it by 10.  In addition, the chemicals that are produced in our spine to help us handle pain actually are malfunctioning in people who have CFIDS/FMS so we are less able to deal with pain – as if we would want that!

In addition – and this is what many people and doctor’s just don’t get – the slightest thing can bring on a major flare-up of pain.  For instance, I suddenly realized that I was no longer playing tug-o-war with my pugs.  So, last week, I thought I would get a new rope and we would have some fun.  Well, my pugs did.  Lot’s actually.  But I had a horrible flare-up from playing a mild give-and-take type of tug-o-war.  I felt like I had lifted 100 pounds at the gym!

Or take a ride on a motorcycle.  Something I love to do.  I was raised on a motorcycle, sitting on my dad’s lap in France as a child.  I just love to ride.  Once I developed FMS, however, that was no longer possible because the pressure of the wind pushing against my body was enough to cause a major flare-up of pain.  Just the pressure of the air against my body.  How that is possible still stupefies me to this day, but it is a reality I have had to come to terms with, and one more thing I have had to part with if I want to remain as pain free as possible.

Here is an except from my dairy on February 8, 1994 when I was struggling to put pen to paper:

I don’t know how long I’ll be able to write.  My arms and hands hurt right down to the bone.  I have pain in my throat, my right arm and leg, and my left arm.  It makes it painful to write.

And that wasn’t what I call a really bad day.  That was probably an 8 on a scale of 1  to 10, ten being the worst.  Back in 1994, there wasn’t much I could do when faced with this type of incredible pain.  Most days I would just lay in bed and try not to move.  On other days – like a day I had last week – I would lay in bed, crying until it passed.  The pain is so penetrating, I just can’t stay in one position.  I rock back and forth for hours, waiting for it to subside.

But there is an exciting upside to what I am sharing with you today.  I ‘stumbled’ upon it last year.  My parents kept telling me about this herb called Phenocane.  They just raved about it.

I have tried everything under the sun, whether through prescribed medication or herbal remedies and nothing has ever come close to working.  So, as you might imagine, I was resistant at first.  Eventually, I did come around and decided to give it a try.  I mean, what did I have to lose.  If it didn’t work, I wasn’t any worse off.  But, if it did work, that would be amazing.

I can’t even begin to describe the incredible sense of relief and joy the first day I woke up and was almost pain-free!  I haven’t had a pain-free day in over 10 years.  It was absolutely amazing!  This little unknown herb (at least here in America) was able to penetrate the pain of FMS where no prescription I had ever taken, including  Hydrocodone, had ever even come close!

It took about 2-3 weeks for me to finally get some results, but when I did, I noticed it!  One of the things I really like about Phenocane is that I can truly tailor this herb to my daily pain levels.  If I only need 2 on a given day, that’s what I take.  But, if I needed to take  12, that is okay too.  Believe it or not, 12 a day is a pretty regular dose for me.  I go through about 240+ pills a month! Amazingly, there are no side affects and the relief from pain, is heavenly.

Now, imagine my surprise when I received an email from Dr. Paul Cheney – he is one of the doctors who discovered the ‘first’ CFIDS outbreak at Incline Village in the early 80′s – sharing this information:

Curcumin – an herb for all seasons

Curcumin is a member of a class of complex biochemicals known as curcuminoids and the principal constituent of the spice known as turmeric and responsible for its yellow color. In turn, turmeric is the principal spice in common yellow curry powder which can contain many spices that vary widely among popular cuisines. Curcumin contains polyphenols that have significant medicinal properties and used historically in southeastern Asia and India and commonly used in Ayurvedic medicine. Turmeric is a perennial herb and member of the ginger family and native to tropical southeast Asia. Heavy curcumin use in India is thought to explain, in part, the low incidence of Alzheimers disease as it is anti-inflammatory and an antioxidant and promotes neurogenesis. It is also anti-bacterial and anti-viral as well as having anti-cancer properties and heavy metal chelation properties, especially iron.  [Information taken from my personal email subscription].

Unfortunately, I can’t access the rest of the article, because I can’t yet afford the $50.00 membership fee to his research center.  (I’m plan on signing up as soon as possible, however, because Dr. Cheney is brilliant when it come to CFIFDS!) Be that as it may, however, did you catch that Curcumin is an anti-inflammatory, anti-viral, and anti-bacterial herb?  All things that are believed to be culprits in CFIDS.  Is that not interesting!?

So, now I discover that I ‘stumbled’ upon an herb that gives me incredible relief from my FMS pain AND it is also highly beneficial for the CFIDS.  Wow!

Fortunately for me, my parents cared enough to keep talking to me about Phenocane, and now I don’t have to be (in pain) but can choose not to be (in pain)!  I am waiting with abated breath for my next two bottles to arrive this week!

Determined to continue forward,

Disclaimer:  I am not advocating medical advice here.  I am simply sharing what I have found to work for me.  You should check with your medical provider or natural healthcare doctor before trying anything new.