Well, today it is obvious to me that I have caught some kind of bug. I am running a fever, have a deep cough, am having difficulty breathing, and have the chills which is usually indicative to my having caught a virus or a bug. So, my goal for this week has changed to taking it very slow and resting a lot.
As I was laying in my chair-and-a-half (I have figured out I can put my head on one arm rest and hang my feet off the other side and do the ‘CFIDS recline 
) I was pondering the past month or so and all the ups and downs that have come with it. I realized that on several occasions I have caught myself saying that…
I just can’t do this for one more day.
I think I even recently told one of my close friends that very thing.
Anyway, as I was laying in my chair, thinking about that, this small voice whispered in my ear,
But you can do this. You know why? Because you have already done it for 7,300 days.
I sat straight up – not literally, but in my minds eye! In an instant, I realized that, yes, I had been doing this thing called, “my life with CFIDS/FMS”, for 7,300 days. I had never looked at this journey of 20+ years with any close scrutiny as far as time went. But now, I was suddenly realizing that this 20+ year journey had included incremental steps of 7,300 days.
I also realized that everyone of those days were accomplished by my determining to continue forward for one more day. Today, I stand here – okay…lay here!… amazed, looking back over 7,300 days! I accomplished that. By the grace of God, I accomplished that.
That is no small feat. I think if I had been given the option to decided beforehand if I wanted to take this journey or not, I would have assumed that I would be unable to face every day with CFIDS/FMS, let alone, do it for 7,300 days.
This revelation made me realize that I am more capable and able – even in my chronically ill state – than I ever thought possible. Just because CFIDS/FMS has stripped my life bare, doesn’t mean that it has been for naught. In actuality, I am accomplishing more in-spite of these illnesses.
I also realized that I have been able to journey through 7,300 days because I chose to take one-day-at-a-time and one-step-at-at-time. If I had tried to garner the energy, determination and will to do all 7,300 days at once, I can guarantee you, I would have failed miserably.
This revelation really hit me hard because I believe this year, for me personally, is the year of my pen, which basically means that I will be finally putting pen to paper and writing my first book. The revelation made me realize that there is no reason I cannot do it. If I can walk through 7,300 days of CFIDS/FMS, writing a book should pose no greater challenge.
So today, with my new idea of a book in hand, I am choosing to start working on it as of March 1st, 2010. I figure if I take one-day-at-a-time and write a small portion everyday, I will have a draft before I realize it.
Who knows? Maybe in another twenty years, I will have not only accomplished another 7,3000 days, but perhaps have completed 12 new books – the result of the wisdom and knowledge gained from the first 7,300 days! 
Determined to continue forward,
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Nodding all the way through this! One of the upsides of this illness, one of its gifts if you like, is it has forced me to live much more in the moment. Cherish yesterday, live today, plan for tomorrow. When I was working it was always what I was going to do ‘next year’. Now I actually think I have a better quality of life in some ways.
I’m chair surfing myself today. Pooped! Have a good one yourself.
.-= Jo´s last blog ..A visit from the Ex =-.
Jo – Chair surfing! I like that! I’m going to borrow that from you! Ha!
Dominique,
I encourage you to start on your book … and keep going as you have kept going for the last 20+ years.
.-= Lillie Ammann´s last blog ..Ash Wednesday and Lent =-.
Lillie – Thank you for the encouragement! I really appreciate it!
Any major project or undertaking is impossible to complete, if you look only towards the end. Taking it a step at a time, one day at a time, makes the project much more manageable and much more doable than it would first appear.
Any hints as to what the subject of the book will be?
.-= LD Jackson´s last blog ..Tea Party Needs Some Etiquette =-.
Larry – Yes.
This post gave me goosebumps. What courage and brain power Dominique, first of all to count out how many days you have had CFS…I’d be flattened by that process (wink)…on the serious side, your attitude of looking at each day as an accomplishment, a great one at that and the whole of the 7300 days, a giant one.
I too have had this for over twenty years, so if I round off your calculation my total days are probably in the same vicinity. To not giving up for close to 10,000 days of living with CFS and all the related complications that develop…yes, we should be feeling great about ourselves.
Here’s to your book! I’m curious about the subject. I too have had a book writing aspiration for a long time, but wonder if this painful and painfully slow brain of mine could do it…thinking of the endeavor spread out over 20 years…now that’s a possibility.
What an inspiring post.
.-= Kerry´s last blog ..“All About Me” (thanks Dominique) =-.
Kerry – My brain did not calculate the 7,300 but I did confirm it on my cell phone calculator! LOL.. I think that was the voice of God. I struggle just to add 2 + 2 on many days.
Yeah..it really changes your perspective when you look at the days. Like you said, almost 10,000. Who would have thought?
I will be honest. I’m afraid to put on my blog what the book will be because Jolene had huge amounts of stuff stolen from her blog and I believe her blog is copyright-ed? Anyway, I will say this. It is for those who are suffering from CFIDS/FMS/ME and will be a book they can refer to often, even in the midst of a really bad day. At least that is my hope.
Dominique
I cried when I read this post….I have been wanting to write a book for several years and this week I read something in Gracia Burnhams book To Fly Again ~ she said God had given her a unique story to tell and it hit me so hard…I have that too, I thought. I unique story interwoven with my faith. To hear you put into words your desire to write a book touched me deep inside. AND to write out that you have had CFIDS/ME for 7,300 days! I have been ill for 25 years now and had not thought about the 9,000 plus days that I have lived one day at a time with my illnesses. And I am STILL HERE! That is pretty darn good for all of us, isn’t it. Shelli,Kerry, you and myself all desire to write some form of book. I wish us well and look forward to reading them all some day….I like what Jo said…cherish yesterday ( our memories) live in the moment today, and plan for the future..
I am so glad to be able to read your blog.
God bless you in your chair resting/surfing today. May you heal quickly from this virus.
.-= Renee´s last blog ..Saturday’s Scribbles =-.
Renee – Yes, like I said to carry I don’t think it was my brain that came up with that. I think God was speaking to me and it hit me hard. 7,300 and counting! Amazing, isn’t it!
I like Jo’s comment to. There is much wisdom in her statement.
I’m glad that you are enjoying my blog. I hope I recover quickly as well.
PS: I just remembered that Toni is writing a book already….!! I am sure there are others too….How exciting this adventure together is…living well with chronic illness. How blessed we are to have this group of people in our lives.
.-= Renee´s last blog ..Saturday’s Scribbles =-.
Renee – I totally agree with you. What is that scripture…major paraphrase coming…one can put a thousand to flight, 10 can put 10,000 to flight. We can do more together than one by one and I definitely feel stronger within the walls of our ‘family.’
Ya know, Dominique, that would make a great name for a book. Don’t you think? Sorry to hear you are under the whether, I hope it passes quickly.
Love you!
.-= Kimberly´s last blog ..Father’s Love Letter =-.
Kimberly – 7,300 days! I will have to add that to the list of possible titles. I actually have several books I want to right so that might actually fit one of them.
Thank you and I hope it passes quickly too. I hope you are doing better as well!
I’m proud of you for living those 7300 days and still be a strong
and wonderful person. No bitterness and strong resolve. I have
often thought how people tell othersI’m so proud of you for
doing such and such — and I realized I would have to be the one
to say to Patricia “I’m so proud of you. look at what you have
done in spite of CFS for over 23 years, and I have not grown bitter
but through my blessed state of being a believer and relying on
God I truly am a better person” I ponder sometimes if I had
been given an escapefrom CFS what I’d be like. I truly
feel it pushed me into the arms of the Lord and a closer
walk with him he is making me a better person.
So Dominique, I am very proud of you and of myself.
I’m so sorry to hear you have a virus. I hope you can get over
it quickly and that it doesn’t linger a long time. Today for
the first time in about 8 weeks I can feel I have gotten back
somne energy after having what was just a rather mild cold.
And it is sunny here – hint of Spring. Sunshine in all the windows.
I let Sammy wander around the yard at his own pace smelling
all the lovely earthie smells. He is almost 15 and I’m praying
for another spring and summer with him. Since he is old he
snores away a lot of his time, but I try to get him outside two
times a day when it is nice out.
I’m hoping your Pugs are getting better. I hope Dekker doesn’t
have chronic bronchitis and why the other (sorry can’t quite remember
names yet) isn’t throwing up anymore. Best wishes for writing your
book. I’m thinking someday I will be able to get it at my library
as they have jsut about everything, And you could do a lot
to support and encourage others dealing with unending illness.
Patricia – I have often thought about that as well. I think I like the me that has been through the ‘fire’ of CFIDS than the person I was before CFIDS.
I would love to meet Sammie some day. Maybe you can email me a picture of him!
I never realized that dogs can get chronic bronchitis. That was news to me. However, Dekker is doing better and Bronte now seems to be fine…so….
I will make you a promise today, Patricia. When I get it completed and published, I will send you an autographed copy…simply because you are my friend!
[just remember to remind me if I forget, okay!].
I will be rooting a tooting for you all the way to getting
published. Wish my computer/digital camera skills were
up to being able to send you a photo of Sammy. Don’t kow
how to scan pics into computer. But my daughter did
send me a photo of my beautiful grand daughter. I’ve learned
how to attach it to an e-mail and send– but no clue how to
send it to a blog. And I forget who I send the photo too. Oh well.
Praying you will get over this bug soon.
Patricia – LOl! Learning how to use a computer definitely takes some time and practice! Thanks again for the prayers, my friend.
Hi Dominique,
Yes, write your book! You have no idea how many people can benefit from your -all of your experiences (Yes, the good, the bad, and the ugly)! Chronic illness is rough, but soooo rewarding as you surrender and let God control your pen to speak to others. So exciting! Blessings!
Lori – Thank you for the encouragement. Maybe I will hire you to be part of my cheering squad! LOL
Your post struck home with me…as I to have suffered with this many years. I was diagnosed in 1992 and have lived one day at a time for many years….haven’t figured the day yet but plan to when my brain is a little more clear and the calculator is close at hand!!! I plan to catch up on your past posts as I can. Thanks for starting your Blog
Peggy from SW Missouri
Peggy – Thank you Peggy. I am so glad you stopped by and shared your story! If you were diagnosed in 1992, then your are right around the time I was diagnosed which was 1993. I go from 1990, however, because I was struggling for several years before they finally figured out what I had!
I look forward having you ‘around’ more!