I am now on day 10 of this crash and I see small embers of hope and light! Despite that, I know I have to continue to take it very easy for the next week or two. I do not want a repeat of the past 10 days! 
This afternoon I was overcome with dizziness, balance problems, the shakes, blurred vision and I had this insatiable desire to get prone as soon as possible. I just felt bad. Anyway, I thought I would rest a little, which I did, and then about an hour later I popped in a movie. I bet you can guess what happened next right?
Yup. I got another epiphany.
I’ve been thinking about things I can do to help myself get to a better place instead of focusing on the things I can’t do much about. These past ten days have seen me eating much take out, which I know is not good for me. Unfortunately, exercise, is not something I can do anymore, so I must really take care with what I eat. Walking and yoga stretching is about all I can do now without relapsing and that varies depending on what kind of day I am having. I actually find myself, often frustrated that I can’t exercise more because I love to be outside and to get physical. It was always a great stress relief for me and made me feel really good about myself. Not to mention I was hot! LOL
But today is about looking at what I CAN do, so… This movie that I watched had this incredible premise that really hit me. First, I can choose what I put into my body as far as food goes. If I choose organic, I win. If I don’t, I pay. Secondly, what my perspective is determines how I will live. Let me elaborate.
I watched the movie, Food, Inc., Thank God I watched it after I ate my hamburger! Ewww. Anyway, one of the organic farmers was talking about how large corporations (four now own most of our food supply) may have started out with good intentions, but then they started looking at how to grow the business and expand. That one decision changed their perspective. From that point on, every decision they made was through the prism of money. Is that powerful or what?
I realized that I am no different than that large corporation. For instance, how I view my blog will determine how I interact with you. If I start looking at growing my numbers or becoming the next Charlotte Bronte, every decision forward will be based on that …not relationships…not servant-hood… not friendship…not compassion. This blog will no longer be about helping people because my perspective will have been altered by my decision to look at numbers or become a famous writer.
Now, that isn’t my perspective, obviously. I do this for the reasons I laid out in my, About Me page. But my point is this: how I choose to go forward in this journey I am on will shape my perspective, and that perspective will lay out the path I will follow to the end. If I chose to do what I CAN to get better instead of focusing on what I have lost, or no longer can do, then my perspective will become one of joy and hope. If I choose to focus on what I cannot do, or no longer have any control over, then that perspective will alter my path to one of frustration and heartbreak.
That just really motivated me to eat better!
In the end, I realize that the quality of my life will be determined by each decision I make because every decision has the power to change my perspective, which then has the ability to change my destination.
So tomorrow… it is off to Whole Foods for me!
Determined to continue forward,
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Dominique, Great post. I too am in a “crash” and your message is just what I need to get my own perspective back on track. Yes, the loss of exercise that CFS causes just stinks…my brain misses the endorphines, my heart misses the strengthening, my spirit misses the great outdoors and yes, I miss being in shape. “Hot” has always been out of my league.
What we do choose to eat is just about all we have control of…and eating like a bird (to keep calories in proportion to energy expenditure) when you are a “foodie” like me, is a major life change…I’ve got to get my mind back into “bird” mode..hmmm, earth worms, imagine they are high in protein, nutrients and low in calories…and if living in organic soil… might not be a bad choice…wonder how they taste sauteed in organic olive oil with a little salt and pepper? Okay, I’m getting giddy…off to pour a glass of my organic fruit and veggie juice…thanks for the great “food” for thought Dominique.
Looking forward to reading your next “epiphany”. Kerry
.-= Kerry´s last blog ..Vulnerability =-.
Kerry – Uh…is it okay if I let you do the worm thing? I think I will pass on that one! LOL! I hope you are feeling better soon, Kerry. These crashes are so very physically taxing and eventually become really mentally challenging too. I cheering for you to cross the finish line! Woo Hoo!
I hope this ‘crash’ ends soon for you Dominique. What a challenge it must be.
I like your talk about perspective. I know that it is so easy to lose one’s perspective when blogging. Two blogs I manage for someone else are business blogs, but I still need to interact with those readers. Lately, a number of personal requests have been made, so I’ve taken the time to answer each one directly.
It isn’t easy staying focused, but when we focus on Jesus then our perspective truly is grounded.
.-= Matt Keegan´s last blog ..Tim Tebow Super Bowl Ad Inspires =-.
Matt – I’m ocming out of it…slowly!
I have nothing to add to your wisdom, Matt!
I can really relate to your feelings about exercise, Dominique! I was the same way – loved being outside and being active, loved feeling strong and fit, and used exercise for stress relief. It’s so hard to live without all that!
I try very hard to eat healthy and to prepare healthy, tasty food for my family, but it’s not always easy. I’ve learned to loosen my standards when I’m badly crashed. I can’t afford to buy organic very often, but I do when I can. We ate vegetarian tonight. Mostly, I focus on lots of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein.
Trader Joe’s is wonderful – do you have one near you? They sell lots of healthy, whole-foods-type stuff that’s easy to prepare on crash nights. I don’t get there very often, but when I do, I fill up our freezer!
Hope you continue to improve and can put this particular crash behind you!!
Sue
.-= Sue Jackson´s last blog ..A Better Day! =-.
Sue – I hope your leaving a comment means your are feeling better too!
I know we have a Trader Joe’s (or at least I think we do) but I will definitely check that out. Thanks for the suggestion. We do have a Whole Food so I am thinking about stocking up as soon as I can on organic quick prepare type food.
I think I might get a small freezer as some point, that way I can stay ahead of the game. It’s hard to do that with a small apartment freezer!:-)
I am glad to see you coming out of your crash, slowly but surely.
All of the article is interesting, but I found this portion especially so.
How we choose to handle our life journey has a lot to do with shaping where the journey takes us and how it will eventually finish. I find myself struggling with that nearly every day, as I watch Tammy suffer so greatly. My outlook on life sometimes gets very pessimistic and that is not a good attitude to have. It usually doesn’t bode well in the end.
.-= LD Jackson´s last blog ..Public-financed campaigns =-.
Larry – thank you.
I understand that struggle Larry. I think you do more for Tammy than you can even begin to realize. First, she has you there in her corner. Major bonus. Second, she knows you love her just the way she is. Again, major bonus. Third…you haven’t left.
I wish there was a way to help her. BTW, did you mention the Quercetin to her. I started taking it and I am noticing improvements in my joints already.
Also, Dr. Steve sent me 3 free tubes of the lozenges. You can’t pass up free! Maybe Tammy should try his product and see if it works.
You know, I am nothing special, but leaving Tammy is something I have never and could never fathom doing. I have heard and read about someone’s spouse, be it a man or a woman, leaving their companion because of hard times. They simply couldn’t take it any more. I love her more than I can express and my email signature is true. She really is my best friend. I couldn’t bear the thought of living without her.
.-= LD Jackson´s last blog ..Obama’s Budget: A Closer Look =-.
Larry – I have had one who left which is why I said she is so lucky. You are an awesome husband! I know that signature is true. I have seen you live it out since I met you…what was it…2008. Wow! I’m continuing to pray for her…and for you!
Such a good post with “food for thought” in more ways than one! Focusing on what I can do to improve is what I need right now too instead of what I cannot do or where I find myself once again…..We don’t have a whole foods or trader joes, but our Hyvee store carries alot of organic including organic ground beef and turkey…
Hope you feel better soon…lots of us spending a lot of time on our sofas lately! Maybe it is the winter cold?
.-= Renee´s last blog ..Lyme/CFS Relapse =-.
Renee – You know Renee, I was wondering about that? As a matter of fact, I told my dad that I was wondering if it was the cold that has all of us down. Weird. Or maybe not.
Anyway, I’m glad you enjoyed the post. I actually haven’t heard of a Hyvee before? I got about 10 days worth of Organic today so I am good for a little while.
A very interesting post. I’ve been doing Slimming World, which is a British weight loss franchise. I think it has just started over in the US too. Anyway, the SW person always used to bang on about ‘choice power’ not ‘willpower’. It worked. I lost about thirty pounds in a year. I’ve gone a bit off track lately but plan to go back when I’m feeling a bit better. It’s all about eating lots of low density food – basically fruit and veg, and limiting the naughty stuff. Very healthy, my cholesterol has come down too.
But we can apply ‘choice power’ in other things too, and that was my epiphany after reading your post.
.-= Jo´s last blog ..Difficult =-.
Jo – Choice power! I like that Jo! Congratulations! 30 pounds is no small feat! I hope to lost that times three soon! I won’t ask you what the ‘naughty’ stuff is! LOL
Have a great day, Jo! You always add a little sunshine to my day when you drop by and leave a note!