I actually wasn’t going to post today as I am pretty worn out. You can’t imagine how much more energy it takes to walk ‘funny’ than to walk ‘normal’! I’m absolutely floored at how exhausted I am just from walking.
This weekend, I had to buy some new bedding and…
clothes as I couldn’ t use the ones from the apartment (Dr’s orders) and finally just said forget it, and started using wheel chairs or scooters or whatever I could find that meant I didn’t have to walk. Saved so much energy. It also meant I could do a lot more.
There were several times this weekend where I thought, woo hoo, I’m okay only to fall over. Oh well. I decided I’m not going to push it. I will just walk however I have to and that’s that. If and when my body recovers, it will do it when it’s ready.
Saturday, I had an episode that I now realize if I were still in my apartment, I would not have had anyone around to witness. My friend was highly alarmed. We were talking in the kitchen, and I was trying to do something (can’t remember what now) and I started shaking from head to toe. My friend became very concerned of course, but I told her to wait and about 10 seconds later, my body stopped the shaking. My friend was just beside herself.
I am having one or two of these episodes a week. So bizarre. I just shake from head to toe for 5-10 seconds and then its over.
I’m really glad, however, that I’m able to stay with my two friends. I can now actually stay through the 15th of August if I need to.
As for good news, one of my friends found an attorney who want’s to speak with me first thing today. He heard my story from her step-dad and told them to tell me to call him as soon as possible. Apparently, he feels my case has merit. Actually I think his verbiage was quite a bit stronger! 
My friend asked me if I have any documentation. I said yes – my blog. Never thought my blog would become ‘evidence’ but now it has.
I’m getting the feeling that my time with the apartment working with me may be running out. To be honest, if they feel they can’t do anything to help me, then I don’t know what else to say to them.
I have decided I am going to go back in the apartment and get the things I must have like my birth certificate, etc. I will take major precautions like a mask, long sleeves, and gloves but I need these documents. Especially all my medical records documenting the CFIDS.
Once I get those things out, then I can walk away from my stuff if I have to. I don’t want to, but…I will be able to if necessary.
I’m actually kind of excited that I might actually have a lawyer. Someone who is on my side, finally.
I actually realized this weekend that another loss is that I can’t drive – at least not till my body stops doing these shaking episodes or muscle mis-direction things. So when I return to Tulsa after the wedding, I am going to have to sign up for the Lift so I can get around.
I also decided today, that if another month or so goes by and I don’t improve I may need to get a wheelchair or one of those walker’s with a seat. It really tires me out to do a lot of walking.
I’m still determined to move forward but I have to be honest and say I have been struggling with intense sadness and grief about losing my possessions, my home and my health. It never dawned on me that the decline I have been telling you all about here on my blog for months might be related to mold. Or anything else for that matter.
Oh yeah. I forgot one other important bit of information I discovered on Sunday night. I Googled Kilz which is what the apartments spray as if it’s water. Here is what the manufacturer says about their product!
From MSDS:
EFFECTS OF OVEREXPOSURE:
Inhalation: Irritation of the respiratory tract or acute nervous system depression characterized by the following progressive steps; headache, dizziness, staggering gait, confusion, unconsciousness, or coma.
Skin or eye contact: Primary irritant.MEDICAL CONDITIONS PRONE TO AGGRAVATION BY EXPOSURE: Reports have associated repeated and prolonged occupation overexposure to solvents with permanent brain and nervous system damage. Intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling the contents may be harmful or fatal.
I almost fell over when I read it! Those are the very symptoms I am having! I showed it to one of my friends I am staying with, and she was stunned! She uses the product and had no idea it could be so dangerous!
There was one woman (in my research on line) who brought a lawsuit against the manufacturer because the product exploded and she received burns on 80% of her body! Everyone who uses this stuff thinks is really safe. Maybe not so much.
Anyway, I really appreciate you all letting me share this part of my journey with you. At least I am in a safe place and with two friends so I can now breathe and let my hair down and rest. Which I am doing a lot of. I seem to be sleeping a lot lately.
Determined to continue forward,
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Dominique, I can’t believe what is happening to you! We have used Kilz a few times in the house, but I haven’t had any problems. I will not allow the guys to use it again however. I hope this lawyer can do something for you, at least get your furniture and belongings replaced. That shaking thing would scare the daylights out of me. Does it happen often? Are they seizures? My poor Dominique. Thank God for your wonderful friends.
xoxoxoxoxomo
Mo´s last [type] ..It’s Got Me
Mo – I don’t think there seizures per se. I think it’s just my body wigging out. I’m thinking more like the shaking you see in Parkinson’s I think. I’m totally aware so I don’t think it would be a seizure. It seems to be happening 1-2 times a week at the moment especially after prolonged exertion like a lot of walking/shopping, etc.
Yes, I do have wonderful friends, don’t I? How is your mom doing?
Dominique – congratulations on hearing from the lawyer – I hope the meeting goes well. Even though there are no specific laws in OK about mold, I’m sure the situation is covered by the more general negligence and tenant protection laws, and you should be able to recover something. I know money can’t replace any of the things this situation has cost you, but if the management company is “punished” harshly enough, that may save others from going through the same thing (it might not be a bad idea to talk to the VA and see if they’d be interested in helping you recover some of the costs associated with the medical care you needed, and will continue to need, too. It’s not likely that they would be, but it never hurts to ask, and you might get lucky.)
Wendy Burnett´s last [type] ..Lovely Blog Award Me
Wendy – The lawyer came as a result of one of my very determined friends. Actually, if we sue the manufacturer and money is recovered for medical bills, the VA gets firsts dibs. I do think the management company needs to be taken to task here. Several issues that have not been properly dealt with. If they keep this up, they may find themselves facing a civil class action suit – I know of several people who were discussing such a possibility before I left.
At least the lawyer, if he takes me on, will at least be a start to finding a resolution to this mess. That would be a good day.
Hi Dominique, this sounds appalling. I do know how difficult it is to walk funny. When my legs go I have to heave them about. I always take a walking pole out with me, mainly to help with balance, but you can take some of the weight on your arms. Two walking poles for bad days!
As a direct result of your experiences I’ve got Environmental Health services to inspect my daughter’s flat as they have a mould problem the landlord is not dealing with adequately. I have also warned her about the possible results of spraying. So thank you for that.
Erm – I can’t seem to subscribe to comments on your blog. Am I being dim? If you have time/energy, could you email me and tell me how to switch it on. Subscribing by RSS just tells me when you have posted. Ta v much. And lots of love.
Jo´s last [type] ..How not to go fishing
Jo – I’m not sure what to tell you about the comment RSS because I just did it and it went through correctly, so….I’m not sure what to tell you. I’m so glad you are getting your daughter’s apartment checked out! That is great. If my situation can help others avoid it then some good can come out of it!
Let me know if you continue to have problems with the RSS feed. I think the web in general is having problems because I have been having problems logging in to different site today and yesterday. Weird.
Dominique –
I know I’ve been quiet of late and have missed a couple of your posts, but caught up w/ this one. // Thrilled that an attorney is interested in your case. // Also pleased to hear that all the candor you’ve put into your blog will help you in your case. As well it should!
Very sorry to hear you’re having such difficulty walking, and of the tremors/shakes, etc. Must be horrendous when they happen.
My prayers cont. to be with you and I believe are being answered as we speak…I’m so happy for you that you have your friends to stay with and can begin to relax and be toxin-free…
Take good care & I’ll ck in again soon,
Amy
ps: my computer crashed and I was offline for days, then when got back on, I’d lost things on my blog! Errrr….
Amy Yannello´s last [type] ..Hating on the poor still in fashion
Amy – Oh no! I’m sorry! I hate that! Computer crashes should be illegal! LOL! I hope you can get it put back together with out too much stress!
I am so glad that you’re meeting with an attorney. I cannot believe that the landlord has been so negligent and as a result you’ve been harmed. You’ve been harmed physically, emotionally and financially. Yes, I’m glad you’re meeting with an attorney! I am so mad that I can’t see straight! This should never have happened to you! I hope this attorney is mad too!!!!!!!!
(now, just as an fyi for me…….how did you set up your blog to reply to comments like this? I’d love to be able to do this)
Rosemary Lee´s last [type] ..EVERY PICTURE TELLS A STORY
Rosemary Lee – I’m not sure what you mean when you ask “how did you set up your blog to reply to comments like this?” Can you clarify for me. It’s probably just me but I’m not understanding.
I am glad to have someone to help me navigate this mess.
Dominique, I wonder is the shaking is just a delayed bodily response to all the incredible mental stress of the past few weeks? If so, it should pass soon.
I’m glad you may have an attorney to help and that you can stay at your friend’s place until the middle of August if you need to.
I think you’re doing really well considering all you’ve been through mentally, emotionally, and physically. You are an inspiration.
Toni – I hadn’t thought of that but I suppose it is possible. I was told today that it might be a side-affect of the medication I’m on but I was doing it before the medication, soooo. The shock thing makes sense thought and that would be great if is passes soon.
Thank you. If I think too far into the future I get really wigged out so I am trying to focus only on things I must. I have some great news that I will share in my post for tomorrow.
It sounds like you have some great friends helping you ~ how wonderful for you right now to have others advocating and caring for you…God’s love at work! I am so sorry that you are going through so much…it is horrible! I know you are into herbs and wonder if you already take something for detoxing your body to help the liver and skin get rid of all these chemicals that have saturated your body? If you are interested in my my doctor has me do, just email me…I don’t want to intrude so will not share unless you are interested.
The losses you are experiencing would overwhelm a healthy person. Your strength and positive attitude is amazing…oh, I know where it comes from, but you still need to be a willing participant! Sending gentle hugs your way…..giving thanks that you are in a safe place….and sending soaking prayers!
Renee´s last [type] ..Saturdays Scribbles
Renee – I knew I had good friends, but I’m finding out how great they are! I will be starting the detox when I get to Maine. My family sees an all natural doctor so he has already figured out what I need to be on.
Ah…thank you. I so need the prayers right now. I have moments that the loss is almost more than I can bear. I know God is working this all out for me but I’m at that point I just want to find a safe spot of my own and collapse for a month or two. Unfortunately, that isn’t going to come about until I move into my new apartment in November. So I have to take it one day at a time for now.
I gasped when I read you are going back into your toxic apt. – even with
precautions. My first thought was if you knew exactly where all the documents
were could someone else retrieve them – and as soon as that thought left
the next one was – Dominique would not allow friends to go in there.
I’m so happy that an attorney may be able to bring some justice to you through
funds to replace your lost possessions and cover any medical costs that
the VA doesn’t cover – and compensation for can’t remember the legal term -
compensation for emotional damages. I will be praying that your body over
time can detox and that you don’t have lasting neurological damage. You
mentioned previously you have permanent lung damage. I just don’t see
how you aren’t entitled to compensation and I’ll pray for a successful case;
or a class action suit success. Dear lady, you need a period of respite – a long rest
from any new situations. I’m still praying for the big day – your daughter’s
wedding. I’ve been doing a little bit of communicating with a non-profit
called Oregon Dachshound Rescue. Working on trying for a match. I’ve
been very honest about my low income, age, and physical limitations to be
in case they would want to disqualify me. I had to fill out a long questionnaire
which did not make me disclose those items; however I did becauseI wanted to feel
very comfortable and honest as I know they really want to place a dog
into a forever home. The lady that I communicate with is a volunteer
and works really hard to place dogs and give them a second chance.
After I told her I can’t really walk a dog, have CFS, have a low income
she is still responding – in fact wanted to have a volunteer bring two
different dogs to my house for a visit. I did express it would be better
for me to wait until Sammy is no longer with me but if a really good match
came up I might consider adopting sooner. And to my delight nothing I
said made her respond with a comment that she doesn’t think I’m a suitable
adopter. That’s my news. I hope you can get in and out of your apartment
in just a couple minutes. I like to think I’m not that attached to my possessions
but I am and my heart goes out to you that you have to leave so much behind.
You are in my prayers very very often. I have never heard of Kilz and was surprised
one of the reply said she had used it in her home. I don’t buy hardly any kind of
cleaners and don’t use chemicals in my yard-just being careful. I pray your new
home will be safe and it seems you lose some control when you rent.
Patricia – I’m glad you are getting things ready for a new dog. I think that is a really wise decision. I’m glad the adoption agency can see beyond your limitations to your heart and what you can give the new dog. Sending kisses and hugs to Sammy from Dekker and I.
Reading what you have found on Kilz (what’s in a name) I have the impression they were conducting chemical warfare in your building.
Take care,
Johan
Johan´s last [type] ..Goals For 2010 – Halfway
Johan – Chemical warfare would probably be a good way to describe it!
So glad you are blessed with friends like these that you can stay with. I feel better knowing there is someone there with you. Your symptoms sound very scary. I think we’ve used Kilz before, too. Scary stuff.
Rest up!
Sue
Sue Jackson´s last [type] ..XMRV Webinar Tomorrow & Update
Sue – I am resting and believe it or not, sleeping a LOT!