Today has been quite a surreal one. I actually felt better today and only had a few ‘spiders’ crawling on me. I was all ready to write my column and get it done (I have it scratched out in long hand) when I came to my blog to quickly respond to the comments on my blog only to discover that the grey theme had a glitch in it that I couldn’t fix. Sigh…
I found another theme I thought would work but instead of it working and saving the day, it caused all my widgets, images, everything but my posts and links, to disappear. I spent 8 hours rebuilding my blog today! I did it all from my bed but what a mess! I think I would call that perseverance!
The spiders got really bad again late last night and I also started having patches of skin that felt like someone had taken the potato peeler to sections of my body. Boy is that a painfully raw sensation when my skin does that!
It’s so odd to me that I’m emotionally and mentally in a good place even though my body decided to have its own party without me. I’ve actually been in a quiet mood today – other than that one moment when I discovered what had happened to my blog. Quiet isn’t the word I would use to describe that! Nope.
For me, quiet usually means introspective and today is was no different. I kept thinking,
What am I suppose to be learning today?
I believe that there is always something I can learn no matter what situation I find myself in. Sometimes it is much harder to see the revelation through the trees, but I know it is always there if I will just search.
Today taught me that even in the midst of something that is quite challenging – and to be honest, frustrating – that I can find my center.
The idea of having to rebuild part of my blog and set up a whole new theme that I had never used was overwhelming to say the least. I actually cried for a few moments. All I could think of was how I just didn’t have the wherewithal to deal with that today and I needed to work on my column.
But I know myself too well and I couldn’t leave my blog the way it was and have you all come by and not be able to access it. I also knew that I wouldn’t get any rest until I solved it.
So I stepped back and took a deep breath and tried to figure out what my course of action should be. Then I did the only thing I could do. I put one foot in front of the other and just kept moving forward until I had finished with the blog.
Once I approached it with that attitude, I wasn’t so frustrated. I wasn’t happy about having to do all this work, but I knew in the end I would feel better when it was done.
I think that is how I approach my life with CFIDS and FMS. I just find enough strength at this moment to put one foot in front of the other. Many days, that is all I am able to do. Most days, that is more than enough.
Always, that is the best game plan I can engage in. Just keep moving forward by putting one foot in front of the other!
Determined to continue forward,