Can you hear that? Total and complete silence! Ahhhh…I can’t tell you how nice that is. I’m in my pjs and all tucked into bed with my laptop, my cup of tea – orange today – and a hot neck roll around my neck. I so need quiet tonight. I have been battling headaches on and off for the past week and today it is a doozy! Wow! I can’t take Tylenol or Aspirin or anything like that, so I just use heat and Phenocane. I’m thinking that perhaps it is time to see my Chiropractor this coming week. I probably have something out of whack since I have been in a crash for almost 2 weeks. So, if I make a typo or two, or say cat instead of dog, you’ll understand why!
After yesterday’s post I needed to move my mind to something more positive and I found myself thinking about school. I graduated from Oral Robert University with a BA in 2007. It was hands-down the hardest thing I have ever done. It took me seven years to get my degree, but I can now say I have completed something. It feels good and it always serves as a reminder for me that “all things are possible.”
One of the most life changing thing I learned from my disability counselor was to re-assess my goal planning process. You see, I had always been taught to plan out my goals for the next year, the next five years, and the next ten years. When I worked in the Corporate world after I separated from the Air Force, I could tell you how I had my life planned out for the next 1o years.
Flash-forward twenty years and you will see me struggling to even plan out my goals for next week without getting overwhelmed. That is why my disability counselor suggested that I look at my limitations as objects I need to remove not push through. In other words, I need to figure out how to work around my limitations by using strengths I had elsewhere, or taking the obstacle and reducing it into a size I could handle.
She helped me learn how to take a project, and instead of looking at the whole thing, to start breaking it down into smaller, more manageable parts. Sometimes, I had to break the smaller parts into even smaller pieces in order to be able to accomplish what I needed, but it worked. It was amazing. I even started looking at getting my BA through this lens.
When I first started school, I was going to complete my BA, but it didn’t take me long to see that if I kept looking at my degree that way, I would never finished because I was so over-whelmed. So I changed my course and started heading towards an AA. I then broke down my AA into semesters. I would tell myself,
The goal is to complete this semester. That’s all.
That worked really well till I finished my AA and started my BA. I was getting really exhausted and any ‘recovery’ I had had, was starting to slip away. So, instead of looking at four years, I again would look at one semester at a time. Then I broke the semester down into weeks. I would now tell myself,
I just have to get through this week. That’s all.
With a semester or two off to recuperate, I did that all the way to the end and was, by the grace of God, able to graduate Cum Laud. Even to this day, I am amazed that I was able to do it. I very nearly didn’t accomplish the last year and half. I was seriously struggling. By the time I made it to my last year or two of college, I was missing an average of 8 weeks a semester. A semester, if you aren’t aware, is only 16 weeks long. So missing half of the semester to crashes was obviously not a good thing. That is when I learned another very, valuable lesson.
I learned to ask for help. I don’t know what it is about asking for help, but it used to be a huge issue for me. I always felt less somehow. Despite my hesitancy, I innately knew if I was going to complete my degree, I had to overcome this trepidation and ask for help. Most of the help I received came in the form of extensions, which allowed me to finish my courses during the summer months when school was out and I was at my best.
I also had to get a doctor’s letter explaining why I kept crashing and that I needed time to recover in between the crashes. As a result, from that point on, my absences were no longer counted against me as long as I completed the work. That was also a huge help. I had several people who felt I was being lazy, treated with preferential treatment, or that I was trying to get out of doing the work. Once I had the doctor’s note, that pretty much eliminated that type of rhetoric. I don’t think it changed people’s minds necessarily, but who is going to argue with a doctor? And most importantly, it afforded me the time I needed to regain my strength for another week or two so I could complete my assignments.
I have carried those two lessons over into my life today. I don’t hesitate anymore to ask my friends for help when I need it. Nor do I plan large projects anymore. Everything is now ‘bite’ size so it fits me and where I am today. I also understand that sometimes it might take me a very long time to reach a goal, but I have learned that it is not the length of time that matters, but the tenacity to stay the course and complete it.
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Great post – I too have learned to take things more slowly and to get my priorities right. And to say “No”
God bless you, Jonie
Jonie – Yes. The no word! That was a hard lesson. Still a little challenging at times! Have a great weekend Jonie!
I can totally relate to this post! Everything I do I cut into bite-sized pieces first!
How to you eat an Elephant? ONE BITE AT A TIME!!!
Do you find that the chiropractor helps your headaches? I suffer from migraines, and my chiropractor helps quite a bit, but it is painful treatment.
Hugs! I hope you are having a nice weekend! I will be making you something special at some point this weekend!!
Jolene´s last blog ..Missing my little buddy
Jolene – Hey there! Imagine meeting you here!
Yes, I am actually going to see the chiropractor on Monday/Tuesday. I know my back and neck are out so I need an upper cervical adjustment. My treatments aren’t painful at all. Sometimes, I have a dull headache for about 20 or 20 minutes but then I feel much better.
Thanks for dropping by Jolene. You have a great weekend as well!
P.S. I am sure I will like whatever you design! I still can’t believe I actually won! Woo Hoo!
I get something called A.R.T. done by my chiropractor as well as getting adjustments. it is the A.R.T that is really painful. Have you heard of it?
BUT it is fixed now AND I just added you! 
YAY!!
Oh and by the way, I am SO sorry it has taken me awhile to get you put on my blogroll! My blonde roots have been showing, and I was having technical difficulties
I’ve been having issues with my back today, so sadly I couldn’t sit at my work bench and play with my beads… but I WILL tomorrow! I can’t wait to get it out in the mail to you!
I can safely say I have never mailed anything to your neighbourhood
HUGS!
Jolene´s last blog ..Missing my little buddy
Jolene – Thanks for adding me to your blogroll. I have never heard of A.R.T. What is it?
I guess I should feel honored that you haven’t mailed anything out to my neck of the woods, huh! LOL
I hope you take it easy and rest your back. I get that! Mine has been acting up for the past 2 days.
I can relate to this post on many levels because I have had some of the same challenges with the word no and asking for help. I learned to say no but asking for help is still a problem. My issue stems from my childhood living at home where everything that was done for me was thrown in my face as a weapon instead of what parents are supposed to do just because they gave their child life.
As for taking life day by day, it’s the only way. At one time I was the leap of the cliff kind of girl now I just pace myself as I am able.
Thinking about that free chair you got hehe…..Ahhhhh so nice.
Big Hug
Kimberly´s last blog ..Featured Writer Dominique Small
Kim – Yes, I am so loving my ‘free’ chair. Now I am saving up for my pub table, book shelves (huge one) sectional, and a work space! Then my home needs to be painted and I will be in heaven!
I understand how manipulation can cause one to be afraid to ask for help or to ask for anything for that matter. I am so sorry your childhood was filled with those kind of memories, Kim.
I am glad, though, that you have found a new path to walk on and that you are finding peace and joy on it.
Lastly, I am glad that we have come to know each other! You are like a light that brightens a room every time you appear!
You made a tear drop from my eyes. In a good way of course.
Kimberly´s last blog ..Featured Writer Dominique Small
Kim –
Sorry to be getting around to commenting so late on this post. I have had the flu and was involved in the color changes of my blog.
I once heard a story about a man who had a young son and a baby calf. He started his son lifting the calf over the fence when they were both small. The son and the calf were growing, of course, but the son could still lift the calf when it got heavier because he continued doing it every day.
Now, I don’t know if that is a true story or not, but it does stress one thing to me. No matter how great the task or obstacle before us, we can get through it a little at a time.
LD Jackson´s last blog ..Is health care reform dead?
Larry – I was wondering where you had gone off too! I miss you when you aren’t around! Sorry you had the flu! Yuck. Are you over it?
I love that story Larry. Have you ever thought about writing a story about things like that? You have so many ‘good stories’ to share. I hope Tammy is doing better today.
Hi Dominique
I was pleased you visited and commented on my post about Monet’s garden.
Who would have believed I ever would be well enough to travel there. You may have noticed I too was diagnosed with ME/CFS as well as Fibromyalgia, Arthritis and Poly myalgia Rheumatica only to find it was Lyme disease and after long term antibiotics I am well again.
I started another blog about Lokking at Lyme disease do check it out and let me know what you think links from my other blog Jooanne’s cottage Garden.
I think with any chronic illness a positive attitude like yours does help to make the most of what we can do.That is not me pushing CBT because that is not the same at all and if our bodies are fighting infection bacterial or viral we need help and no amount of CNT is going to fight infection.
Hi Joanne – Wow! Hallelujah! Thank you for coming by and sharing your thoughts! I will definitely take another look at your blogs. I did subscribe to the one I left a comment on.
I agree. I think positivism helps so much more then negativism. I am so glad I have not had to indure the GET or the CBT. I actually think I would have walked out and said no. I don’t visit the doctors much anymore. Only when I need to. Now I mainly deal with all natural doctors and have found much more relief. That and listening to my body.
I am so glad to finally ‘meet’ you. Every time I see you cottage pic, I am instantly taken back to Ipswich, UK. I lived there almost 3 years and loved it. Someday, I will go back and visit again.
Hi Dominique,
There is a great and valuable lesson in this article; don’t worry about the end results, just do what is in front of you at the moment and God will take care of the rest.
We only need to take care of the little things.
Take care
Chad Prigmore´s last blog ..Break the Matrix: Cancel the Super Bowl or America Dies (Video)
Chad – Agreed.
Yes, step by step. A journey of a 1000 miles starts with the first step.
Never give up setting goals, just go bite-size.
Take care,
Johan
Johan´s last blog ..First Visit to Himmunitas and Prof. Dr. De Meirleir
Hi Johan! How are you doing!? Thanks for leaving a comment and sharing your thoughts!