Tag Archives: 4 walls and a view
DIET is KEY
After living with ME since December 1992, I have learned over and over that when I make any plans I must also plan for the payback that will undoubtedly come. That may sound like I’m being negative because I’m planning for the crash that follows the fun but it really isn’t. It is just a fact of life, unfortunately, when one lives with this unrelenting illness. I had a wonderful time helping my sister get her new website ready and …
Boston and Bear …
I am sitting just outisde of Boston at my sister’s house and enjoying the white sky and the white ground. Everything is white. While it is really nice to see so much fluffy, white powder everywhere, it is also nice to know that this is a temporary thing and I can enjoy it for the moment knowing that I will soon be heading home soon. I heard back from the rescue organization – Homeward Bound – and I have passed …
Book Review: The Eagle Has Crashed by Ted Lacksonen
I recently had a friend ask me to read his new book, The Eagle Has Crashed, and I quickly said yes! Ted has been someone who has been helping me to think outside the box when it comes to the plight of America and politics in general. I respect his opinion deeply and was excited and honored to be asked to read his book. I also promised to write a review. The genre of, The Eagle Has Crashed, is probably …
From Empty to Full
I wanted to share something I have been going through with my readers. This may in fact be more of a woman thing but I think it really is applicable to my whole readership. I have been in a bad head and emotional space these last few months. Totally understandable with Dekker’s one year anniversary (death), my father’s sudden heart-attack and quadruple bypass, the birth of my grandson, a betrayal by someone I considered a friend and the severe relapse …
Jan 2012 ME Story: Kassy
I don’t know if you have ever woke up in the middle of the night in one of those, “Oh my gosh moments?” Well, I did last night. I was thinking about what I would say in this post before I went to bed and then woke up in the middle of the night realizing that today’s ME Story which is shared by my friend, Kassy, is our 12th story on Becoming Visible 4ME which means … We have now …
Simplicity, 3 Words, and 2012
I was catching up on my blog reading, when I came across Tamara’s new post at Empty Thoughts, Rewritten, and it caught my attention. The reason it caught my attention is because I have been thinking about words that keep rising up within me that reflect where my heart and soul for 2012 is, especially after my two-part series called, My 12 Changes to Living Better with ME: Part 1 of 2 and My 12 Changes to Living Better with …
My 12 Changes to Living Better with ME: Part 2 of 2
If you missed the beginning of this two part series, you can catch up with part one HERE. Today, I am going to share changes 7-12 with you. 7. Change Place: As I mentioned in part one, so often when I am in the midst of a wonderful event, spectactular moment or memorable time, I am often only their in body but not spirit and soul. This is probably one of my most challenging changes because I am so annalytical. …
My 12 Changes to Living Better with ME: Part 1 of 2
New Years. Two simple words. Yet, these two little words bring excitement, freshness, visions, possibilities and more to my heart and soul ever time they roll around. Most of the time, almost innately, goals start popping up in my head and I feel my blood pumping as the electricity of newness surges through my body. While goals can be a good and necessary thing, when one is living with a chronic illness such as myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME) and Fibromyalgia (FMS), …
HAPPY NEW YEARS!
Can you believe this year is over? Tomorrow is 2012! I can’t say this year fled by because to be honest this was a very challenging one for me. I am quite happy that it is over to be honest. I’m really excited about another year of sharing with you and changing things up and maybe adding some new things. I’m even considering guest posts so if you might be interested in that feel free to contact me. I will …
If I let myself admit it, I …
I have been thinking about what direction my blog will take in 2012. To be honest, when I originally launched 4Walls and AView 2 years ago, I only intended to do it for 2years because I thought there would be no, or little, interest. Guess I got that wrong since I now have over 70,000 hits and 250 readers, huh?! Thanks to my wonderful readers and thier interaction and interest in my blog I will obviously keep writing! So, that …
Learning to LIVE like a DOG
As I sit here in the early morning hours, I am transfixed by the haphazard sprinkle of lights against the black canvas of night. Silence permeats the cloak of darkness, and yet, there is this innate knowing that city life is slowly awakening to brewing pots of coffee and tea, and that a new day will soon be in full force. The melancholiness of the hour mimicks my heart as I realize that today is the one year anniversary of …
Dec 2011 ME Story: Cusp
I have had the joy and fun of getting to know a woman on Facebook this past year or so. She has to be the most unique, creative and interesting person I have had the pleasure to friend in a long time. God only made one Cusp and she is amazing. Her ME story touched me deeply because unlike many of our stories, her story starts in her childhood. I hate this illness for adults but the devastating impact it …
Navigating a Week full of a Myriad of Emotions.
I often find that life offers me many opportunities to become a better me, if you will. This week is no exception. With the news that has been slowly trickling out about WPI (the Whittemore Peterson Institute who researches neuroimmune illnesses) and Judy (a major player in ME research), this week did not start on the best foot. Then the news came of two deaths within the ME Community and for me that has just had me grieving all over …
WPI: Another Blow for the ME Community
I was greeted this morning with news that completely blindsided me and I was guessing many of my readers had not heard the news either so I am going to share with you all here. According to Dr. Jamie Deckoff-Jones, there is breaking news about WPI (Whittemore Peterson Institute in Nevada). Here is what she had to say on her blog. Breaking news. The entire WPI research program has been closed by the institute’s CEO, and the facility is now locked …
Can Food Heal MY BRAIN?
I was recently reading Baffled’s blog, Infinite Daze, (great blog to check out if you haven’t already) and she had posted a video. I decided to watch it in full (or more accurately listen to it) and by the end, I was jumping up and down with excitement! I just had to share it here and tell you why I am excited. Dr. Terry Wahl was diagnosed with MS (which we know is similar in how it operates in the …
Wedding and the Promise of Possibility
I finally made it to my friends wedding in Claremore yesterday and as I promised many of you, I am posting the photos here. Unfortunately I am not in them because the wedding started with out me as I was a little late. But my friend’s wedding went off without any other hitches and was lovely and she and her new husband are quite happy! It was really nice to see her so happy. My friend did capture one of …
MY Rebirth: Choosing MY Own Color Palette
I have been repeatedly asked what has caused the transformation in me that people seem to be noticing when they see me in person and even my good friend, Toni, asked me in an email recently about the change she noted in my birthday photos. So, I thought I’d share the broad brush strokes here. Toni responded to my explanation that I had been reborn. I think that really is what happened. The relapse was so severe and so all …
49th Birthday Update
In Oklahoma we always have to be cognizant of the weather. We never know when a tornado or bad weather is going to creep in and change our plans. Unfortunately, it did just that for my birthday. After dinner, we had to move inside and there was no room for dancing and the band was just way too loud. An hour was about all me and my friend could stand. Despite the bad weather though, I had an incredible night …
Mad as Hell and Broken Hearted for Jenny
Thank you Lillie for reminding me that not all my readers know who Simon Wesley is. He is a UK (England) based psychiatrist who believes ME and CFS are not real organic illness but illness that are psychological and social in nature. Essentially, we are sick because we say we are sick. He is a huge proponent of CBT and GET which have been shown not to work in most people with ME and actually has caused many patients to …
September 2011 ME Story: Barry
As I was getting ready to put up todays post, I was stunned to realize how much things change in just eight months. I am out of bed, out of my wheelchair, and exercising for the first time in almost two years! And today, I put up our eighth story over at Becoming VISIBLE 4ME! In addition, this month’s story is our first male story which I was very interested in reading. I have been getting to know Barry for …
the TRUTH about ME
This is an excellent video about the truth of myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME). I have all of Giles videos now on the Becoming VISIBLE 4ME youtube channel because he does a really good job. This video makes it clear that the many misconceptions being propogated by people like Simon Wesley needs to stop and the truth needs to be told. I thought I would share the video with you and we could all help Giles makes this go viral as that …
What Would YOU take?
My friend Mo recently asked a question that really hit home with me on her blog, Mo is Blogging … I think. I decided to ask it here for two reasons. I was curious how my readers might responsd and I was curious if what we would want to take as those living with ME might be different than those who are not ill. This whole subject was started Foster Hunnington. Here is a little about his blog and this …
In TOMORROW, there is always the PROMISE of POSSIBILITY
I recently was having a conversation with a friend of mine online who also has ME about what I had learned, if anything these past eight months of being bed, house and wheelchair bound. I’ve been thinking about that a lot. The absolute delight and joy that invades me when I step out into the sunshine is indescribable. I feel the warmth of the sun kissing my skin, embracing me in it’s warmth and I start to tear up with …
August 2011 ME Story: Sue
Most of my readers know the author of our next ME story at Becoming VISIBLE 4ME, Sue Jackson. Sue has a very popular blog, Learning to live with CFS, and is someone who is very knowledgable about the condition. She also loves to help others out whenever she can. What many of my readers may not know, however, is that Sue is not the only person sick in her family. Sue and both of her sons are sick with CFS …
A Play: Cognitive Disconnect
BOB: “Are you ready?” ME: “Yes” BOB: “So where do you need to go?” ME: “You know. That place with all the stores in one place?” BOB: “The Mall?” ME: “Yeah! That’s it! I need to go to, um that store across from that burger place we like … next to um Marshalls? I think?” BOB: “Are you talking about Ross’s? ME: “Yup” (sigh) BOB: “What do you need?” ME: “Sunglasses.” BOB: “Do you know what kind?” ME: “Yeah. Progressive. …
i CAN’T do THIS
Note: I had posted on FB that I would have a play that I wrote up for today, but I moved it to Friday. I have this deep sense that this post needed to be published today. An urgency if you will. Please accept my apologies for the change. ___________________________ Several months ago, I ran into a brick wall. Many people on Facebook probably were witness to it. The impact shattered me as if I had been physically slapped. I …
PUSHING is NO Longer an Option. Take ALTERNATIVE Route!
For years, I have been told to push and collapse. To be honest, I had never heard of pacing until I started writing about my 4Walls and AView. Pacing was never a concept that was ever put before me. So I have spent every day since December 1992 pushing and collapsing and being applauded by doctors, specialists, professionals, etc. What I understand today, however, is that there comes a time in this illness when pushing is no longer an option …
Defining Progress in Severe ME: Part 2: Living in Black and White
If you had asked me a year ago, ten years ago, or even two decades ago if I ever thought that Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (M.E.) would cause me to flee into the dark, I would have responded with a resounding, “No.” Today, I know that I would have been wrong … very wrong. Since January of 2011 I have been adapting to a life void of color. It is one that has now become eerily reminiscent to my beloved hobby: black …
July 2011 Story : Susannah
Can you believe it? Becoming VISIBLE 4ME is now in it’s 6th month! This year just seems to be flying by. Susannah holds a special distinction in that she is our first British ME story. I met Susannah several months ago and have become fast friends with her. She has a wonderful heart and spirit. I think you will really enjoy getting to know her through her personal story and testimony. Here is an excertp from her story, I was …
Waiting for … Creativity
When I was in college (TCC) I had one play that just drove me crazy. I just could not make a connection with it. And of course, wouldn’t you know, I end up being cast in the play several years later! I, eventually, ended up coming to a place where I appreciated Samuel Beckett’s, Waiting for Godot, but it took my having to create a character for my acting role in order for me to get there. A few weeks …
Happy 4th of July!
I just wanted to take a quick moment and wish all my readers a HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY! Also, I want to thank our military and Veterans for thier service! Without you all, America would not be the great country that it is! I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, even if it is a quiet one. I will be celebrating with organic hot dogs, organic potato salad and the 4th of July cupcake above. Determined to continue forward, …
Defining Progress in Severe M.E.: Part One -Breathing Issue
I recently skim read, Toxic Bedrooms, by Walter Bader which I received for free from LifeKind. They are the company I am planning on buying my organic mattress from. I am currently in the testing phase to make sure that I will not have breathing problems as a result of the organic materials they use. In addition, they have me checking to make sure I can also handle all the products together without breathing issues (you put all the samples …
A Little Sugar …
What is that old saying? A little sugar helps the medicine go down. Do you remember that saying? Well, I thought I would post something as far away as possible to chronic illness, relapses, crashes, pain, eye, head, vocal chords, muscles, isolation, M.E. grief, lost … all of it. I recieved the above photo from my daughter and the above phrase popped into my brain. I smiled and thought, A little sugar … hmmmm … Can you believe she …
A Battle of Wills
So often people see only what they want to see. Other times, they see only what I allow them to see. It is those times when anger, darkness, frustration, and a sense of fuitility overtake me, that I desperately try to hide from the world. It is not a face that I want to put forward. Yet, I think to not show that face occassionaly would be a grave misjustice to myself, those who are sick like I am (especially …
June 2011 ME Story: Linda Wescott
We are now onto our fifth story of this year. I find it amazing as I read each new story, how vastly different they are … and yet … how similar they are. Linda’s story, for me personally, was quite riveting. I was completely taken in the very first time I read it. Here is a excerpt of her unique and captivating story: As I stopped to look around, a “sensation” shot up the left side of my neck, then …
























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