Translator
IN MEMORY
What I’m Listening 2
Tag Archives: bad day
A Play: Cognitive Disconnect
BOB: “Are you ready?” ME: “Yes” BOB: “So where do you need to go?” ME: “You know. That place with all the stores in one place?” BOB: “The Mall?” ME: “Yeah! That’s it! I need to go to, um that store across from that burger place we like … next to um Marshalls? I think?” BOB: “Are you talking about Ross’s? ME: “Yup” (sigh) BOB: “What do you need?” ME: “Sunglasses.” BOB: “Do you know what kind?” ME: “Yeah. Progressive. …
i CAN’T do THIS
Note: I had posted on FB that I would have a play that I wrote up for today, but I moved it to Friday. I have this deep sense that this post needed to be published today. An urgency if you will. Please accept my apologies for the change. ___________________________ Several months ago, I ran into a brick wall. Many people on Facebook probably were witness to it. The impact shattered me as if I had been physically slapped. I …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged "i CAN'T do THIS", "myalgic Encephalomyelitis", 4 walls and a view, bad day, friend, grief, health, ME, personal, perspective, Purpose, relapse
18 Comments
A Battle of Wills
So often people see only what they want to see. Other times, they see only what I allow them to see. It is those times when anger, darkness, frustration, and a sense of fuitility overtake me, that I desperately try to hide from the world. It is not a face that I want to put forward. Yet, I think to not show that face occassionaly would be a grave misjustice to myself, those who are sick like I am (especially …
Finding Solace from the Constant ME Onslaught
My week literally fell apart and I broke. I am noticing so many of us are enduring great challenges with our illness and bodies. Many of us are struggling with enduring. I, too, have been struggling. While I want to share where I am today with you, please don’t hear me ‘preaching’ at you. I just wanted to share what is helping me to hang on, to move forward, and to stay determined. For me, this week, I had a …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged "myalgic Encephalomyelitis", 4 walls and a view, bad day, broken, cognitive, Dekker, facebook, journey, Kathi Wilson, ME, perspective, solace, Weary
9 Comments
Life is kinder but ME is still kicking my butt!
I’m nicely ensconced back in my apartment, thankfully. As a result of this relapse, I have moved my bed into the living room temporarily. I figure it is 20+ steps less that I have to take to go into the kitchen so that can only help. On Sunday, I actually thought the relapse might be easing a bit as the morning was the best I have had in weeks. But I crashed like a bull in a china shop in …
OI/POTS remedy and progress
These past few weeks have been quite the struggle. I have always suffered the dizzy spells associated with Orthostatic Intolerance (OI) or Postural Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), which almost 97% of those suffering with ME/CFS have, although I had no name to put to it until recently. Despite that, since the toxic chemical exposure, I am having more and more difficulty with these dizzy spells and unfortunately I am finding no help from the VA healthcare system. I think Sue is …
ER visit and … possible arrest?
I have a tale to tell you that you just will not be able to fathom. If I didn’t know better, I would say God has a sense of humor, because my year just ended with a loud bang! (head shake) Yesterday afternoon I started to get in trouble with my lungs again. I tried everything, but, to no avail. (The maintenance guys are finishing up the construction on our historical building so floors were being stained and I was …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, bad day, crash, ER visit, life lessons, loitering, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), RADS, stress
33 Comments
The merry-go-ride
Have you ever found yourself saying, I just can’t do this anymore? I don’t want to do this anymore? I’m at that place today. I sit here and wonder how will I get up tomorrow and do this, yet, again? I am mentally, physically and emotionally drained. I’m spent. For twenty long years I have fought. I have hoped. I have believed. But today, I’m empty. I know not where my hope comes from outside of God today. I feel …
Weary…
This will not be a long post. Just letting you know I’m okay but I have not been having a good day. I’m on day 4 of very little sleep. My lungs feel like there are on fire and I am just exhausted … and to be honest … weary. I received silverware today which was so nice. I have been using plastic silverware for the past month and then realized they were melting in my tea/coffee. Oops! So silverware …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, bad day, fatigue, health, homeless, write
12 Comments
What if?
My thoughts today are not directed at anybody but myself. Having said that, I have been browsing the web, reading the 40+ blogs I read almost everyday and this thought just kept coming to me over and over. The more I mulled on it, the more I realized that perhaps this was a problem I needed to look at for a myriad of reasons. Often times, I struggle trying to get those who do not suffer from ME/CFS, or similar …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged "what if", 4 walls and a view, bad day, crash, family, FMS, friend, journey, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), personal, perspective
16 Comments
It’s a good life on most days
When I woke up this morning, I was exhausted. Yikes. So I decided to take the day and rest, rest, rest (as my friend Renee always tells me ). I did fine until I called to change the reservations to one of the hotels I had and all hell broke loose. I got the hotel issue worked out, only to find out…
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, bad day, chronic fatigue syndrome, fatigue, life lessons
4 Comments
All things that go up must come down
It has been said that, all things that go up must eventually come down. Unfortunately, that proves true with CFIDS and FMS more oft than not. Today, I have been feeling pretty bad. If I didn’t know better…
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, asthma, bad day, chronic fatigue syndrome, crash, fatigue, health, life lessons, stress, winning
12 Comments
“Dominique’s Corner”
Is it already Friday? Seven (7) days in bed. I’m starting to get my days confused. It’s almost midnight here in Tulsa and I should be sleeping but I suddenly got hit with muscle spasms in my back and this odd muscle movement in my right leg in which the muscle just wants to keep jumping around. In addition, the restless legs kicked in again. It must be so odd for someone not familiar with these symptoms to watch this. …
I am BLESSED going IN and coming OUT
I guess sometimes I do look sick. My health is spiraling downward. Today was extremely hard. I actually called a friend and asked for help which is something I don’t often do. My throat is so sore that I thought ice cream would help. Plus I’ve lost my appetite. The thought of eating is just too tiring. All my lymph nodes are now painful (even the pelvis ones), I have serious ringing in my ears, fatigue is now at a …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, bad day, blessed, blog, chronic fatigue syndrome, fatigue, pain, symptom, thank you
20 Comments
I am not alone…
Tonight the wind is whipping about outside, howling… alerting me to the wintry storm that is headed my way. Night has come and the wind keeps bumping up against my windows, reminding me of its presence. I cannot see my wonderful view tonight for mother nature has obscured it from my sight. Freezing rain clings to the window panels allowing me just a glimpse of what lays beyond the glass. The long lines of dripped, frozen rain, and the thousands …
The dreaded 10 day…
I wish you could have seen my view tonight. The sky was this incredible teal color as night was falling. Stunning! Unfortunately, today is the dreaded 10 day. Today is a horrible day. I have been sitting here for about 30 minutes trying to figure out if I could sit up long enough to write today’s post. I find if I hold my head to the side – it’s just too heavy today to hold straight up - and sit …
The goal today isn’t to achieve…
I hoped today would be a good day. I have been diligently trying to rest as much as possible and have even resorted to taking 2 hour naps when needed. Today, my wish would not be granted. When I awoke to the whining of Dekker begging me to get up, I felt as if my body had been filled with sand. Every thing about me felt heavy. Pushing myself upright and out of bed was impossible. Thankfully Dekker was fine …
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