Tag Archives: crash
Defining Progress in Severe M.E.: Part One -Breathing Issue
I recently skim read, Toxic Bedrooms, by Walter Bader which I received for free from LifeKind. They are the company I am planning on buying my organic mattress from. I am currently in the testing phase to make sure that I will not have breathing problems as a result of the organic materials they use. In addition, they have me checking to make sure I can also handle all the products together without breathing issues (you put all the samples …
A Letter from a ME Survivor to Everyone Else
Note: This was a difficult post for me to write but one I needed to write. I apologize upfront if I unintentionally offend anyone. That is not my heart. Just to create a deeper understanding. This post is to those who do not have Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME). It is from me, but I’m guessing it is something that many who suffer with this illness would also like to say. So, in essence I guess you could say this is a …
Relapse Update and Being Frog Bopped
I have had several people ask me how I am doing these past few days so I thought I would respond here on my blog. To be honest, I haven’t talked about it because I’m not even sure how to respond. But I will do my best. Lately I have been feeling like I am walking in a maze and I can’t find my way out. No matter what I do … or more appropriately … don’t do, I am …
I Have … Hope
Life isn’t Static. Fixed. Determined. It’s flowing. Changing. Evolving. There is always the room for Possibility. Expectancy. Anticipation. Even in as severe a relapse as I now find myself in, there is a power within me that lies in wait because change is always, Possible. Probable. Imminent. I just have to learn to be patient; more patient than this thing that now resides within me called ME. ME is like a ticking Bomb. Waiting. Watching. Lurking in the background. Always …
A Glimpse of Severe ME: Opening the Door
When I started this blog, I started with the premise that I would share with brutal honesty what ME (CFS) is really like. Today, I thought it important enough to break my self-imposed 5-day withdrawal and shielding to reveal once again the devastation of severe ME. First, from this day forward, I will no longer refer to this illness as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). That is an hypocritical joke. This is not fatigue, chronic or otherwise. Second, I am angry. …
Running Against me and me … and ME
I’ve have been spending a lot of time looking out my window at my view as of late. So much so that there have been moments when I find my mind wandering to days long ago: days of a physical ease that I desperately long for. As I allowed my mind to wander through the halls of my memories, I smiled as I watched myself putting on a pair of running shoes and heading out for one of my long …
Life is kinder but ME is still kicking my butt!
I’m nicely ensconced back in my apartment, thankfully. As a result of this relapse, I have moved my bed into the living room temporarily. I figure it is 20+ steps less that I have to take to go into the kitchen so that can only help. On Sunday, I actually thought the relapse might be easing a bit as the morning was the best I have had in weeks. But I crashed like a bull in a china shop in …
ME and the Need for a Little Extra Help
I thought I should pop in and let you all know how I’m doing. As you may or may not be aware I have suffered a severe relapse. I have not been this bad since I first got sick 2 decades ago. My days primarily consist of resting in bed (as I have no couch) 24/7 with short 15-20 minutes breaks where I am able to get up. Any more than 15-20 minutes, however, and my legs go rubbery, my …
The Hour Glass Paradox
Have you ever played Boggle; the word game in which you create as many words as you can as your race against the flowing sand of the hour glass? You pick up your pencil, and place that clean, empty page before you, all the while steadying your nerves for the race against time that is about to ensue. Someone turns the hour glass over, and with a deliberate, measured pace, you start creating as many words as possible. You try …
Part Three: Update
I apologize for not having a post up for Tuesday. In addition, I am going to push part three back until I see the doctor at the end of the month. I’m making as many changes as I can and they help, however, the reduction in symptoms doesn’t last very long. This week has been very hard because I have been having repeated headaches, or more exact, eye aches. In addition, I have crashed within the relapse. I am now …
Part Two: Post Traumatic Vision Syndrome (PTVS)
Well, if you didn’t catch part one, of this three part series, you can do so here. Now on to what I dug up on Post Traumatic Vision Syndrome or PTVS. The earliest article on visual issues in ME/CFS that I could find (with the help of my friend Laurel: hap tip!) was this one back in 2001 by the CFIDS Association. In it they explain that, There are few references in the literature to visual and/or ocular disturbances in …
Part One: Keeping an eye on my EYES
I have been getting ready for my eye appointment with my favorite eye doctor. I decided to do some research on whatever I could find concerning eye issues with ME/CFS. Mind you, this illness has been on the radar since at least the 1980′s. However, I was only able to find 4 articles! Is that crazy or what? Anyway, as a result I thought I would start writing about it on my blog because I have actually received several emails …
CHANGING the DANCE w/the Beast within ME
One of the things I have discovered throughout my life, and especially living with a chronic illness, is that life isn’t fair and it usually comes with a myriad of unexpected circumstances. Most of which require me to do one of two things: adjust and grow or complain and stay stuck. I’m am once again finding myself in a new place in this journey with ME/CFS. It is a very odd place to be and yet I have this amazing …
Challenging CHANGES
As my readers know, the months that have followed my exposure to a toxic chemical have been full of challenges and changes. Even though I would rather forget about much of 2010, it appears that some of those challenges have now followed me into the New Year and I now have to confront them and find way to overcome or work around them. As you know I have been having a lot of trouble with dizziness. So much so I …
ER visit and … possible arrest?
I have a tale to tell you that you just will not be able to fathom. If I didn’t know better, I would say God has a sense of humor, because my year just ended with a loud bang! (head shake) Yesterday afternoon I started to get in trouble with my lungs again. I tried everything, but, to no avail. (The maintenance guys are finishing up the construction on our historical building so floors were being stained and I was …
Clarifying M.E./CFS fatigue in ONE word
Well, it’s official. I am in the throws of a crash. I’m having chills, increased pain levels and utter exhaustion. I am able to sleep about five hours a night now but I toss and turn a lot and then am usually wide awake at 7 or 8. Today, I opened my eyes and knew I was not going to get out of bed. Thankfully, I actually fell back to sleep and slept until 11. I got up and made …
Walking thru these 4Walls
I mentioned to a friend, recently, that I would share what happened this past weekend that helped turn me around after getting the news from the doctor that going outside was now dangerous and life-threatening for me. Thus, my mask and I are now connected at the hip whenever I leave my apartment. And to be honest, I’m okay with that. Anyway, as many of you know, I have really been struggling since Thursday’s doctor appointment. As Toni and Renee …
going LIMP
I am in my first, full-blown crash of this winter. And it is a pretty good one at that. Other than taking Dekker out to go potty (I really should find someone I can pay to take him out for crash times) and trying to eat regular (hard to do when you are wiped out), I am pretty much in bed. I guess you could say, I am going limp. For those of you who are scratching your head, wondering …
THE unpredictability Challenge and ME/CFS
Today started off well enough. It wasn’t a bad day, but it wasn’t a good day either. It was what has now become a normal day for me. At around 10 a.m. I took Dekker out for his daily morning walk. We walked a block and he did his peeing business. Then we walked another block and he did his pooping business. We then finished our last two (2) blocks at a little bakery in front of my apartment where …
What if?
My thoughts today are not directed at anybody but myself. Having said that, I have been browsing the web, reading the 40+ blogs I read almost everyday and this thought just kept coming to me over and over. The more I mulled on it, the more I realized that perhaps this was a problem I needed to look at for a myriad of reasons. Often times, I struggle trying to get those who do not suffer from ME/CFS, or similar …
Photo Update
I thought I would do something a little different today. I’m going to share what is going on in my life through pictures. Enjoy!
All things that go up must come down
It has been said that, all things that go up must eventually come down. Unfortunately, that proves true with CFIDS and FMS more oft than not. Today, I have been feeling pretty bad. If I didn’t know better…
What is the NUMBER in the NAME of this blog?
Weird title, huh? You’re probably wondering what gives?! Well, I have had it up to my hairline with spammers. Last week I had 300 spam messages in my comment section on ONE day that I had to delete one at a time. Today, I had 60! Enough is enough. So I have added…
Seven sites for CRASHLESS Shopping
One of my all time favorite movies is, The Net, with actress Sandra Bullock. I watch this movie almost every month. I love the main character, Angela Bennett, who is completely self-sufficient within her own 4Walls. The further along I travel with CFIDS/FMS, the more I find myself mimicking her shopping efficiency through the Internet. I have come to deplore shopping of any kind in traditional stores unless I am having a really good day. In fact, I have come …
























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