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IN MEMORY
What I’m Listening 2
Tag Archives: FMS
DIET is KEY
After living with ME since December 1992, I have learned over and over that when I make any plans I must also plan for the payback that will undoubtedly come. That may sound like I’m being negative because I’m planning for the crash that follows the fun but it really isn’t. It is just a fact of life, unfortunately, when one lives with this unrelenting illness. I had a wonderful time helping my sister get her new website ready and …
Boston and Bear …
I am sitting just outisde of Boston at my sister’s house and enjoying the white sky and the white ground. Everything is white. While it is really nice to see so much fluffy, white powder everywhere, it is also nice to know that this is a temporary thing and I can enjoy it for the moment knowing that I will soon be heading home soon. I heard back from the rescue organization – Homeward Bound – and I have passed …
From Empty to Full
I wanted to share something I have been going through with my readers. This may in fact be more of a woman thing but I think it really is applicable to my whole readership. I have been in a bad head and emotional space these last few months. Totally understandable with Dekker’s one year anniversary (death), my father’s sudden heart-attack and quadruple bypass, the birth of my grandson, a betrayal by someone I considered a friend and the severe relapse …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, consequences, Fibromyalgia, FMS, friend, grief, health, hope, journey, life lessons, loss, ME, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), personal, perspective, pugs, Purpose, winning
11 Comments
My 12 Changes to Living Better with ME: Part 2 of 2
If you missed the beginning of this two part series, you can catch up with part one HERE. Today, I am going to share changes 7-12 with you. 7. Change Place: As I mentioned in part one, so often when I am in the midst of a wonderful event, spectactular moment or memorable time, I am often only their in body but not spirit and soul. This is probably one of my most challenging changes because I am so annalytical. …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, consequences, Fibromyalgia, FMS, health, hope, journey, life lessons, loss, ME, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), Purpose
8 Comments
My 12 Changes to Living Better with ME: Part 1 of 2
New Years. Two simple words. Yet, these two little words bring excitement, freshness, visions, possibilities and more to my heart and soul ever time they roll around. Most of the time, almost innately, goals start popping up in my head and I feel my blood pumping as the electricity of newness surges through my body. While goals can be a good and necessary thing, when one is living with a chronic illness such as myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME) and Fibromyalgia (FMS), …
Allowing Illness to shape me into a better person
I was sitting on the rooftop deck this week (it would be the 11th floor) as it has become my favorite place to write … and if you can believe it … dance. Anyway, I was sitting there looking out over this expansive view and thinking about a time where everything before me would have been a barren wasteland – something called the dustbowl. Yet, as I looked out over the vast city I love I saw business thriving, beautiful …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged "Invisible Awareness", consequences, Fibromyalgia, FMS, friend, health, hope, journey, life lessons, ME, mold, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), personal, perspective, Purpose, relapse, winning, write
14 Comments
A Play: Cognitive Disconnect
BOB: “Are you ready?” ME: “Yes” BOB: “So where do you need to go?” ME: “You know. That place with all the stores in one place?” BOB: “The Mall?” ME: “Yeah! That’s it! I need to go to, um that store across from that burger place we like … next to um Marshalls? I think?” BOB: “Are you talking about Ross’s? ME: “Yup” (sigh) BOB: “What do you need?” ME: “Sunglasses.” BOB: “Do you know what kind?” ME: “Yeah. Progressive. …
Mr. Winter and Ms. Spring
For the past few weeks, the weather here in Tulsa, Oklahoma, has been volleying back and forth between the 20’s and the 40’s. But yesterday, as well as today, we were suddenly greeted with a wonderful spike in warmth as we have watched the temperatures climb to the low to mid 70’s. Tomorrow, we return to the normal pattern of our weather volleying between the 20’s to the 40’s – with a little possible snow thrown in the mix. This …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, FMS, journey, life lessons, Mr. Winter, Ms. Spring, personal, perspective, relapse, symptom
18 Comments
CHANGING the DANCE w/the Beast within ME
One of the things I have discovered throughout my life, and especially living with a chronic illness, is that life isn’t fair and it usually comes with a myriad of unexpected circumstances. Most of which require me to do one of two things: adjust and grow or complain and stay stuck. I’m am once again finding myself in a new place in this journey with ME/CFS. It is a very odd place to be and yet I have this amazing …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, crash, FMS, health, journey, life lessons, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), personal, perspective, relapse
33 Comments
Changing MY Expectations of the word DEFEND
As many of you have probably noted, I have been struggling this past week. To be honest, I think my eye issue derailed me and I have been wandering around in the wilderness. You might think that is a bad thing, but for me, it really isn’t as it provides me the space I need to think, to pray, to analyze, and to contemplate deeply. Sometimes it affords me the breathing room I need to just let go and do …
ME: somedays just a Heavy Yoke
This week has been such an odd week. One filled with research on how to do many of the things I need and love to do without over using my eyes. Trying to explain what’s going on with me at this moment so people understand. Doing paperwork (online) to get transportation set up and finalizing the delivery process of my groceries (outside of that which I get from Natural Farms) with Whole Foods. When I got to Friday, I felt …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 'heavy yoke', 4 walls and a view, cognitive, FMS, ME, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), personal
36 Comments
4 Tricks 2 Overcome Memory Deficits of ME/CFS
This post is dedicated to my friend Lorraine who loved an idea I posted on Facebook. It got pushed to the back burner this week as the result of my eyes, but I wanted to keep my promise and finish it, so here goes. One of the most frustrating aspects, for me personally (besides my eye problems) is my inability to remember things. I have tried so many things with most of them turning out to be colossal failures. However, …
my OI/POTS 24-test and results
As you know, I have been increasing my water intake dramatically as well as my salt intake to counter the effects of OI/POTS. I’m actually doing well with the water consumption. I have always been a huge drinker since getting sick 20 years ago so this wasn’t too difficult for me. I am now settling at around 12 glasses of water a day or 3 quarts which seems to be a good place for me. As for the salt, I …
a Triple Cord is NOT easily broken
This past Monday was a turning point for 4Walls and AView. It documented the one year mark since I launched this blog. As I look back at all that I have written this past year, as well as the comments and what has transpired as a result of the birthing of 4Walls and AView, I am deeply moved and humbled. When I originally decided to stop blogging about politics due to a decline in my health and my cognitive abilities, …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, aniversary, Dekker, FMS, health, hope, journey, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), perspective, strength, triple cord
25 Comments
2011: A life of Simplicity
I have been reading many blogger’s New Year resolutions with wonder. I’m always amazed at how the New Year stirs up all sorts of new plans, hopes and desires in people. I think that is a great thing. Even so, this year I decided that I am going in a different direction. My New Year’s resolution, if you will, for 2011 can be summed up in one word – simplicity. The losing of all my worldly possessions, my home, and …
letting GO of … TOMORROW
As I have often stated here, I am really struggling with being overwhelmed. Almost on a daily basis. I keep telling myself, Who wouldn’t be overwhelmed with rebuilding their life, learning to live with RADs (Reactive Airway Disease) and a brain injury, on top of having ME/CFS and FMS. I mean really… But then this little voice inside of me asks, What if I’m making things harder on myself by something I’m doing … or not doing? To be honest, …
What if?
My thoughts today are not directed at anybody but myself. Having said that, I have been browsing the web, reading the 40+ blogs I read almost everyday and this thought just kept coming to me over and over. The more I mulled on it, the more I realized that perhaps this was a problem I needed to look at for a myriad of reasons. Often times, I struggle trying to get those who do not suffer from ME/CFS, or similar …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged "what if", 4 walls and a view, bad day, crash, family, FMS, friend, journey, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), personal, perspective
16 Comments
15 LOVELY CFIDS, M.E., Lyme, and FMS blogs
I have been very remiss about a wonderful surprise I received on June 17th. My reason for not doing this earlier wasn’t just because I wasn’t feeling good or being pulled into a myriad of directions. Actually I did try to do it right after WordPress 3.0 came out and I uploaded it. Unfortunately, the new update caused my image plugin to break and I had to wait until the update came before I could do this justice. Now that …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, Award, blogs, FMS, lovely, lyme, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
27 Comments
Figuring out I had been 3D’d
If you could see me now, you would see a very big smile on my face even though I am on day nine of one of the worst crashes I have had since I can’t remember when. I am typing my very first article from…a new chair! Nor more sitting on the floor, the sports chair, or my bed…err..forget the bed – that will definitely happen again! Over the weekend, a neighbor of mine moved out and threw away an …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 3-D, 4 walls and a view, FMS, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), personal
7 Comments
It’s for them…
Today is my third week in this new adventure called, 4Walls and A View. It has been very interesting to read the many comments I have received. The ones that have surprised me most have come from those who know me best. I have always assumed that most of my close friends know all the ins and outs of what my life has been like. However, in reading the comments, I realized that just isn’t so. And then the thought …
Searching for my memory
I am ready and armed with today’s post. It’s been jumbling around in my head for hours. Oh no! No, no, no, no, no! [Groan] I just forgot what I was going to write about! I don’t even remember what the subject was! Is anybody home up there? Anybody! Complete silence. Sigh… Where oh where has my memory gone? Maybe if I do something else for a while I can remember what is was I wanted to talk about. Yeah, …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, FMS, memory, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), personal
24 Comments
Fogged In…
A couple of days ago, I sat here watching the fog roll in. It waned in and out throughout the day and then returned with a vengeance at night. I was intrigued to see how at different times during that 24 hour period, the look and feel of the fog changed. There were times that is was so thick I could not see across the river. Yet, at other times, I could see slivers of the many buildings downtown, trying …
Easing the blows of CFIDS/FMS with laughter
I wanted to thank each and every person who visited my blog in its first week. You all made my first week amazing! I thought you might like to know that in the first week of this journey, I had 479 people visit my blog. You have exceeded even my wildest expectations! I am humbly thankful for each and every person who dropped by last week. Now on to today’s post…
It WILL come
My favorite time to write is when the sun goes down and the lights of the city come on. If there is a slight breeze, the lights will shimmer along the water, dispersing hues of blue, gold, and orange. The river becomes a large sheet of glass, displaying the dancing embers of the city lights. The dogs have stopped barking. There is no repetitive pounding emanating from my neighbors house as he plays endless hours of video games. The city …
FOUR life-lessons my PUGS taught ME
The view out my window is lovely today. The water looks blue (and that doesn’t happen all too often as the Arkansas river is muddy water!) and the sky has this woven pattern of pale blue and white ribbons. The snow is almost gone and the wildlife on the bird sanctuary in the middle of the river are fluttering about, busy with the days business. There’s even a lone individual trying to catch tonight’s dinner! On my window sill sits …
The Spoon Theory
I sit here in the early hours of the day, sipping a cup of my favorite tea from England - PG Tips – while Dekker lies comfortably snuggled up on my lap, quietly snoring away. As I look out the window of my view, fog has blanketed our fair city. Although night has given rise to morning, morning has found herself cloaked in a heavy, gray blanket that has wrapped itself around her. Lights peek through the haze, alerting me …
To be (in pain) or not to be
Well…today is a better day. I am always thankful for those “new mercies” when they arrive. As I sit here looking out beyond my 4Walls at my incredible view, I am thankful that even when I am unable to spend much time outside, I have a beautiful view to look at and keep me company. Yesterday, I read through all my journals since 1992. I have been writing in some form or fashion for as long as I can remember …
MY New Year’s MISTAKE
If you think launching a brand new blog is a lot of pressure, you would be right. But imagine if you started getting emails and comments about how people are looking forward to your launch and can’t wait. Now that is pressure! But then again, I am always up to a challenge, so here goes! Because of the incredible interest in this blog, I have been pondering what to write for my first post. I was going back and forth …
Launching Date SET!
Okay. So you are probably wondering where are the new posts, right? Well, I have been slowly transferring my website from Blogger to WordPress with the help of my good friend, Larry. I am almost done with the “tweaking” but have a couple more things to do before I feel like this will be ready to launch. However, the good news is…
4Walls and A View
The purpose of this blog is to share, as transparently as possible, the real challenges of living with Chronic Fatigue & Immune Dysfunction Syndrome (CFIDS) and Fibromyalgia (FMS). Sometimes it may not be pretty, but then these illnesses never are. Other times, it will reveal how I overcome the daily obstacles I incur, or what I choose to do with a ‘good day’. In addition…
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