Translator
IN MEMORY
What I’m Listening 2
Tag Archives: hope
From Empty to Full
I wanted to share something I have been going through with my readers. This may in fact be more of a woman thing but I think it really is applicable to my whole readership. I have been in a bad head and emotional space these last few months. Totally understandable with Dekker’s one year anniversary (death), my father’s sudden heart-attack and quadruple bypass, the birth of my grandson, a betrayal by someone I considered a friend and the severe relapse …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, consequences, Fibromyalgia, FMS, friend, grief, health, hope, journey, life lessons, loss, ME, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), personal, perspective, pugs, Purpose, winning
11 Comments
My 12 Changes to Living Better with ME: Part 2 of 2
If you missed the beginning of this two part series, you can catch up with part one HERE. Today, I am going to share changes 7-12 with you. 7. Change Place: As I mentioned in part one, so often when I am in the midst of a wonderful event, spectactular moment or memorable time, I am often only their in body but not spirit and soul. This is probably one of my most challenging changes because I am so annalytical. …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, consequences, Fibromyalgia, FMS, health, hope, journey, life lessons, loss, ME, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), Purpose
8 Comments
If I let myself admit it, I …
I have been thinking about what direction my blog will take in 2012. To be honest, when I originally launched 4Walls and AView 2 years ago, I only intended to do it for 2years because I thought there would be no, or little, interest. Guess I got that wrong since I now have over 70,000 hits and 250 readers, huh?! Thanks to my wonderful readers and thier interaction and interest in my blog I will obviously keep writing! So, that …
Learning to LIVE like a DOG
As I sit here in the early morning hours, I am transfixed by the haphazard sprinkle of lights against the black canvas of night. Silence permeats the cloak of darkness, and yet, there is this innate knowing that city life is slowly awakening to brewing pots of coffee and tea, and that a new day will soon be in full force. The melancholiness of the hour mimicks my heart as I realize that today is the one year anniversary of …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, Dekker, friend, grief, hope, journey, life lessons, loss, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), personal, perspective, pugs
18 Comments
Navigating a Week full of a Myriad of Emotions.
I often find that life offers me many opportunities to become a better me, if you will. This week is no exception. With the news that has been slowly trickling out about WPI (the Whittemore Peterson Institute who researches neuroimmune illnesses) and Judy (a major player in ME research), this week did not start on the best foot. Then the news came of two deaths within the ME Community and for me that has just had me grieving all over …
WPI: Another Blow for the ME Community
I was greeted this morning with news that completely blindsided me and I was guessing many of my readers had not heard the news either so I am going to share with you all here. According to Dr. Jamie Deckoff-Jones, there is breaking news about WPI (Whittemore Peterson Institute in Nevada). Here is what she had to say on her blog. Breaking news. The entire WPI research program has been closed by the institute’s CEO, and the facility is now locked …
Allowing Illness to shape me into a better person
I was sitting on the rooftop deck this week (it would be the 11th floor) as it has become my favorite place to write … and if you can believe it … dance. Anyway, I was sitting there looking out over this expansive view and thinking about a time where everything before me would have been a barren wasteland – something called the dustbowl. Yet, as I looked out over the vast city I love I saw business thriving, beautiful …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged "Invisible Awareness", consequences, Fibromyalgia, FMS, friend, health, hope, journey, life lessons, ME, mold, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), personal, perspective, Purpose, relapse, winning, write
14 Comments
In TOMORROW, there is always the PROMISE of POSSIBILITY
I recently was having a conversation with a friend of mine online who also has ME about what I had learned, if anything these past eight months of being bed, house and wheelchair bound. I’ve been thinking about that a lot. The absolute delight and joy that invades me when I step out into the sunshine is indescribable. I feel the warmth of the sun kissing my skin, embracing me in it’s warmth and I start to tear up with …
A Little Sugar …
What is that old saying? A little sugar helps the medicine go down. Do you remember that saying? Well, I thought I would post something as far away as possible to chronic illness, relapses, crashes, pain, eye, head, vocal chords, muscles, isolation, M.E. grief, lost … all of it. I recieved the above photo from my daughter and the above phrase popped into my brain. I smiled and thought, A little sugar … hmmmm … Can you believe she …
Posted in Family
Tagged 4 walls and a view, family, hope, journey, ME, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), photography, the little things
7 Comments
A Battle of Wills
So often people see only what they want to see. Other times, they see only what I allow them to see. It is those times when anger, darkness, frustration, and a sense of fuitility overtake me, that I desperately try to hide from the world. It is not a face that I want to put forward. Yet, I think to not show that face occassionaly would be a grave misjustice to myself, those who are sick like I am (especially …
I Have … Hope
Life isn’t Static. Fixed. Determined. It’s flowing. Changing. Evolving. There is always the room for Possibility. Expectancy. Anticipation. Even in as severe a relapse as I now find myself in, there is a power within me that lies in wait because change is always, Possible. Probable. Imminent. I just have to learn to be patient; more patient than this thing that now resides within me called ME. ME is like a ticking Bomb. Waiting. Watching. Lurking in the background. Always …
a Triple Cord is NOT easily broken
This past Monday was a turning point for 4Walls and AView. It documented the one year mark since I launched this blog. As I look back at all that I have written this past year, as well as the comments and what has transpired as a result of the birthing of 4Walls and AView, I am deeply moved and humbled. When I originally decided to stop blogging about politics due to a decline in my health and my cognitive abilities, …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, aniversary, Dekker, FMS, health, hope, journey, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), perspective, strength, triple cord
25 Comments
The Prayer
Something a little different today. I hope this inspires you and lifts your spirit as it did mine. You never know where these moments are going to come from, but when they come, your heart soars. May yours soar after seeing this incredible little girl sing, The Prayer! Determined to continue forward,
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged "The Prayer", 4 walls and a view, hope, music, video
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this place called, middle
When I grew up, I was always told to push through whatever difficulty I was going through. I have watched for years, as my mother got up every day, no matter how bad she felt, and did everything that was required of her…and then some. In the military I was taught to focus and just do it. There was very little thought. It was more of an instinctive reaction – one that was honed through hours and hours of training …
Some things that are just not quite right
I haven’t spent a lot of time sharing with you all my progress physically since the poisoning in July. I have spent the last 3+ months detoxing and I actually think that has done wonders. Many of the symptoms have abated at the very least, and disappeared at the very best. However, now that I am in my own space and able to try to build a new schedule, if you will, I am noticing some things that are just …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, cognitive, finish the race, health, hope, journey, personal, symptom, winning
20 Comments
Book Review: What Difference do it make?
After my review of, Same Kind of Different as Me, I was contacted by Thomas Nelson to see if I might be interested in reading the follow-up book, What Difference do it make?. If you read my review, you know that…
This journey WE call LIFE
Change is in the air. I can now feel it and I am now embracing it! I’ve been contemplating this journey I have been on for the past 5 or so weeks, these last few days. I don’t know if I have done everything right, but I know that I have done my best. I also know there were moments in which I struggled to come to terms with all the loss, the changes, and the dislocation, and yet, I …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged "new home", 4 walls and a view, asthma, hope, journey, life lessons, mold, perspective, write
20 Comments
Faith, Hope and Anticipation
You know something? Today was a good day. Interesting as it was laced with several asthma attacks. The first was a result of losing our air conditioner when we lost our electric. Amazingly, it didn’t take more than 20 minutes or so before I was having the ‘asthma cough’ as I call it. My friend asked me if I was okay and if I was having problems with the asthma. I responded that I didn’t know because this is kind …
Turning the Corner
I thought I would update you all on the after-effects of the chemical poisoning. There is good news and then there is some not so good news. On the good news front, my gait is much better. I still have problems with my balance but if I am just walking around the house for short durations I am pretty much back to normal. It appears the detox herbs my natural doctor suggested are working. On the flip side…
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged "turning the corner", 4 walls and a view, asthma, fatigue, health, herbs, hope, pain, stress, symptom
12 Comments
Coming to terms with loss and reality
For the past few days I have been sleeping, resting, and sleeping! I have been so utterly exhausted I haven’t been able to do much else. Monday I got out of my ’4Walls’ and went with one of my friends to Tulsa. We decided to hit one of the malls after the errands were all done. It is amazing to me how the smallest thing can suddenly stop me dead in my tracks. I was…
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, chronic fatigue syndrome, cognitive, grief, health, hope, life lessons, loss
18 Comments
HAPPY 4th of JULY
First, I want to wish all my readers a very wonderful 4th of July. This is truly one of my favorite holidays. Any holiday that is about America brings out my loyalty, passion and love for this country! Second…
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, chronic fatigue syndrome, cognitive, fatigue, hope, mold, pain, spiders, stress, symptom
17 Comments
Hope
I had this interesting epiphany recently. This past week, the FMS has been really bad – about a 7 or 8 out of 10. It isn’t so much the straight, sharp kind of pain, but that achy, stiffness kind of pain. It has been widespread so I don’t have anywhere on my body that isn’t currently hurting. I can chalk this flare-up to the wonderful, rainy weather we are having here in Tulsa! Anyway…
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, chronic fatigue syndrome, Fibromyalgia, hope
10 Comments
It WILL come
My favorite time to write is when the sun goes down and the lights of the city come on. If there is a slight breeze, the lights will shimmer along the water, dispersing hues of blue, gold, and orange. The river becomes a large sheet of glass, displaying the dancing embers of the city lights. The dogs have stopped barking. There is no repetitive pounding emanating from my neighbors house as he plays endless hours of video games. The city …
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