Tag Archives: personal
Some things that are just not quite right
I haven’t spent a lot of time sharing with you all my progress physically since the poisoning in July. I have spent the last 3+ months detoxing and I actually think that has done wonders. Many of the symptoms have abated at the very least, and disappeared at the very best. However, now that I am in my own space and able to try to build a new schedule, if you will, I am noticing some things that are just …
What if?
My thoughts today are not directed at anybody but myself. Having said that, I have been browsing the web, reading the 40+ blogs I read almost everyday and this thought just kept coming to me over and over. The more I mulled on it, the more I realized that perhaps this was a problem I needed to look at for a myriad of reasons. Often times, I struggle trying to get those who do not suffer from ME/CFS, or similar …
A week in photos
This week just couldn’t end with mold, it had to end with a bang … fleas! (Thanks to a neighbors dog … ) Well, no matter, because I am choosing to move through this week and forward! I don’t know about you, but my mind, heart and soul could use some soothing. Photography has that affect on me. Here are some of my shots that I took this week, as well as…
Take THAT CFIDS!
I had this interesting thing happen to me on Saturday. A friend from church who is a friend of mine on Facebook (FB) – I think my whole church is on Facebook! LOL!- left a comment on my wall after I mentioned that I was going out to celebrate with a good friend of mine who was turning 60. Anyway, my FB friend said she was glad I was going out because I never mention getting out on my 4Walls. …
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY
Who can find a worthy woman?
A sure way to forget FMS pain
I realize a post on Sunday is out of the norm for me, but I felt like writing so… I discovered a way to overcome my Fibromyalgia pain! Really! And it works 100%. Develop a severe abscess in one of your teeth. That pain will make you forget any other pain in a nano second! Phew! Today I got to spend my day at the hospital…
Deferred Expectations
Some how I have learned to accept that loss is an integral part of having CFIDS/FMS. Most days I can let go of past dreams … past hopes. I understand that I have to re-assess my priorities, my boundaries, and my expectations. But what do I do with the continual sabotage of daily expectations? How do I cope with the repeated assault by these symptoms on the simplest of my desires? Do I let go of them as well? Why …
My journey from drugs to herbs – Part Four
If you haven’t had the chance to read Part One, Part Two, or Part Three of, My journey from drugs to herbs, you can do so here, and here and here. Now down to the last system – the immune system. In 2008, I asked my chiropractor/natural doctor what I could take to ensure that I didn’t spend the winter with pneumonia, bronchitis, or the flu. He suggested I add a multi-mushroom extract and Vitamin C and D. I was …
My journey from drugs to herbs – Part One
I was raised to believe in doctors and their wisdom. Never did I dream of a time in my life where I would start questioning the ability of doctors or pharmaceutical drugs to cure me. The road to a semblance of normalcy was one fraught with much pain and obstacles. Despite that, it is one I would gladly endure again, because it drove me to a place where I had to decide what I was willing to accept and what …
5 Ways my BLACKBERRY helps me manage my CFIDS/FMS
As anyone who is struggling with a chronic illness innately understands, dealing with the difficulties posed by said illness can be quite taxing, and sometimes, downright overwhelming … especially if memory or cognitive function is affected. Thus, when I finally received my ‘free’ Blackberry several weeks ago, little did I understand how my love affair with my Storm 2 would go way beyond ‘love at first sight!’ Who would have thought that this amazing, little device could be a solution …
I’ve waited for a lifetime for this moment
When the fiasco with my laptop happened, the company wiped out my budget and my checkbook. Needless to say, trying to remember everything that was in my checkbook was impossible and I forgot three very important payments. And I got to pay dearly for that oversight. $295.05 to be exact! What’s a girl gonna do? I spent about 10 hours on Sunday rebuilding my budget. It took me several years to develop a budget in excel that makes sense in …
Expressive simplicty in Black and White
They say a picture is worth a thousands words. Today, I don’t feel like conveying my heart with words … well, not written words, anyway. I have been playing with my creative side today. You see, I have spent the whole weekend in bed as I ‘hit the wall’ as Joleen so eloquently puts it! I had a really bad flare-up with the FMS this week but today it started easing and I found myself in an introspective, melancholy mood. …
Choosing to stand…
I just received word that my father is out of surgery and is stable. Thank you God! His vital signs are all good. The nurse told me she was currently trying to get his pain level under control, but again everything else looked good post surgery. Unfortunately, not all the news was good…
This is profoundly disturbing!
After twenty years of living with the incredible challenges of CFIDS and FMS, I have been, long, looking forward to a day when my illness would be recognized as the serious illness that it is. That is why I have been keeping an eye on a trend that seems to be heading our way. According to the International Association of CFS and ME…
AMERICAN
The quietness of the early morning hour surrounds me like a warm blanket. The coolness of the breeze whispers over my bare arms as I inhale the pungent odor of my morning coffee brewing silently in the darkness. Even the birds are conspicuously silent. The city lights are dancing along the water’s edge reminding me of the beauty that surrounds my 4 walls. I am in a quiet, contemplative place today as I meditate on what this day means to …
On the other side
I have finally come out on the other side of my four month crash. It is a really great reminder for me to treasure any and all moments because I never truly know what is coming around the corner. I have really been working hard to enjoy every single moment of every day. That sounds like it would be such an easy thing, but I have been dealing with incredible stresses in addition to the laptop fiasco. My father…
Oh shoot, I’m awake
I woke up this morning and within seconds I knew it was not a good morning. Usually when I awaken the first thing that I find myself saying is, Thank you, Lord, for another day. This morning didn’t quite go that way. I awoke with a major disconnect between…
Unpredictable
According to The Free Dictionary, unpredictable is defined as, Difficult to foretell or foresee. Something difficult or impossible to foretell or foresee. For me personally, the unpredictable nature of CFIDS is one of the most challenging obstacles I have to deal with everyday. It is…
Fragmented Days
Today is one of those days that just drive me crazy. I hate days like today. Lately, I seem to be having a lot of what I call, fragmented days. I just can’t seem to make any of the connections I need to make. I stand there at the end of the day and wonder how it is that I accomplished nothing! If you watched me trying to plug in a power cord into one of those extension cords and …
10 breakthoughs on the BIOLOGY of CFIDS
We have had some new members recently diagnosed with CFIDS within our own online/blogging community, so I thought a post on some of the discoveries of the biology of CFS would be helpful. I thought this would also help those who aren’t ill to see that although I don’t look sick (or your loved one doesn’t look sick), recent biological discoveries are indeed proving otherwise. In addition…
Perspective: Focused on the climb
I’m probably going to stun you when I tell you I watched. Are you ready for this? Hannah Montana: The Movie! Yup. I loved it. There was such a great message in it. It was a good, wholesome, clean, family movie, not to mention there were some really funny parts! But that isn’t what spoke to me the most about this movie. I recently wrote a post about…
Happily accepting the Happiness Award
If anyone had told me I would enjoy writing about my life as much as I have in the past two months, or how I would meet these incredible people, I would have started this blog a lot sooner! I was sitting down to finish up responding to one comment I had not responded to because I had company when I realized that Sue from Learning to Live with CFS, had come by and left me a comment. I was …
Improvements all around
I’m am doing better today about my decision to find Bronte a new home. Friday and Saturday were very challenging. I was constantly bombarded with horrible thoughts of her being hurt, mistreated or given to someone else. I had to grab my hold of myself and tell myself the truth a lot in those first 48 hours. Sunday and Monday were much easier and I was once again at peace. I kept remembering what Laurie (the lady who got Bronte) …
PERSEVANCE: the road to EMBRACING my DREAMS
As I sit here on this overcast, grey, cloudy morning, drinking a cup of decaf, organic coffee and listening to Chris Botti’s CD, To Love Again, I have been thinking about all the twists and turns I find in this journey I call life. I can never say my life is boring because I never know what the next day will bring. Sometimes…
Possible home for Bronte
I have narrowed down dozens of individuals interested in Bronte (the fawn pug) to one family. Tomorrow at 2pm I am meeting with them to make sure that it is a good match. If it is, Bronte will be going home with them and will have a new family. I covet your prayers that…
Surprise payback
Today I awoke to incredible pain. On a scale of 1 – 10, I am at a 9. I have spent most of the day in bed, taking very hot baths, using heating pads, taking extra Phenocane and whatnot. Despite that, I still couldn’t get the pain under control. It is days like this – the ones that sneak up on me – that are quite challenging for me. I don’t do pain well…
Preparing for extended down times
As I watched the weather come in over the weekend, I found myself amazed at how we could have 70 degree weather one day and 56 degree weather with heavy rains the next. As I started pondering that, I realized that I alter my behavior and plans dependent on what kind of weather is rolling in. For instance…
Seven sites for CRASHLESS Shopping
One of my all time favorite movies is, The Net, with actress Sandra Bullock. I watch this movie almost every month. I love the main character, Angela Bennett, who is completely self-sufficient within her own 4Walls. The further along I travel with CFIDS/FMS, the more I find myself mimicking her shopping efficiency through the Internet. I have come to deplore shopping of any kind in traditional stores unless I am having a really good day. In fact, I have come …
the PUGS and a VIRUS that won’t quit!
Now to what has been happening in my life since Wednesday’s post. I received a call from a woman on Wednesday night and she and her family are ‘in love’ with the pugs. They will be coming today to meet with them and see how everyone gets along. If all goes well, the pugs may have just found themselves a wonderful new home in Collinsville, Oklahoma which is only about 20 minutes from me. In addition, she will keep me …
Am I MASKING?
I read a post several weeks ago that had a really good message. It is one that just wouldn’t let go of me. So I have been mulling it over for several weeks now. I finally got to a point where I needed to ask myself this question, Is there anywhere in my life that I am masking?
Blog Change Update
I hope this note finds everyone having a relaxing and rewarding weekend. I have been pondering a problem I am having with how I write my articles for my blog for some time now, as well as, trying to figure out how to resolve it. Even on good days, I need to have two full days each week where I do nothing but stay in bed, rest, read a book, whatever. There is no exception to this rule for me. …
Sleepless in Tulsa
I actually thought I was going to make it through a whole month without having one episode. It would be the first time in 20 years that, that has ever happened. I would have considered that a miracle. Of course it was not to be. This odd, mysterious, quirk in CFIDS/FMS still happens several times a month. Every month. With only one day left to the month, I thought I was in the clear, but last night proved me wrong. …
Attack on Herbal Supplements!
This post is a little different than my normal posts, but I felt this was very important to get out to all my readers and friends. Hat tip to sodahead.com for posting this letter from the Sunshine Health Freedom Foundation. I thought I would post a portion of it here with a link to the full article to alert any of my readers who may indeed use herbal supplements in full or in part for CFIDS/FMS/ME. In essence, this bill …
A DIAMOND in the rough?
I apologize for not having a post up yesterday. I was feeling pretty lousy and just so ready to go to bed. I ended up sleeping 11 hours straight. I am planning to do the same tonight. In addition, I had a phone call about the pugs which left me a wreck. First, the male caller was volleying questions so fast, I was reeling. While he was talking to me, there was tons of noise in the background, so I …
The art of LETTING go
I am still struggling to get over whatever it was that I caught last week. I started taking some de-congestion today and hopefully that will start clearing up my chest, throat, and head in the next couple of days. I will be glad when the coughing fits are over. My ribs are getting very sore from all this coughing. In addition, today was a bit challenging as my cognitive functions was below par for me. I felt as if I …
My gut wrenching decision
Written on Sunday Night @ 6pm I have spent an hour or so vacillating between sadness and anger. I have a decision to make – one that has been coming for about a year now – but I don’t want to do what I know is right. I hate who I become on bad days. I strive to be someone who is positive more often than not; who looks at all the good I have been blessed with. But on …

























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