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IN MEMORY
What I’m Listening 2
Tag Archives: personal
Oh shoot, I’m awake
I woke up this morning and within seconds I knew it was not a good morning. Usually when I awaken the first thing that I find myself saying is, Thank you, Lord, for another day. This morning didn’t quite go that way. I awoke with a major disconnect between…
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, chronic fatigue syndrome, Fibromyalgia, pain, personal
8 Comments
Unpredictable
According to The Free Dictionary, unpredictable is defined as, Difficult to foretell or foresee. Something difficult or impossible to foretell or foresee. For me personally, the unpredictable nature of CFIDS is one of the most challenging obstacles I have to deal with everyday. It is…
Fragmented Days
Today is one of those days that just drive me crazy. I hate days like today. Lately, I seem to be having a lot of what I call, fragmented days. I just can’t seem to make any of the connections I need to make. I stand there at the end of the day and wonder how it is that I accomplished nothing! If you watched me trying to plug in a power cord into one of those extension cords and …
10 breakthoughs on the BIOLOGY of CFIDS
We have had some new members recently diagnosed with CFIDS within our own online/blogging community, so I thought a post on some of the discoveries of the biology of CFS would be helpful. I thought this would also help those who aren’t ill to see that although I don’t look sick (or your loved one doesn’t look sick), recent biological discoveries are indeed proving otherwise. In addition…
Perspective: Focused on the climb
I’m probably going to stun you when I tell you I watched. Are you ready for this? Hannah Montana: The Movie! Yup. I loved it. There was such a great message in it. It was a good, wholesome, clean, family movie, not to mention there were some really funny parts! But that isn’t what spoke to me the most about this movie. I recently wrote a post about…
Happily accepting the Happiness Award
If anyone had told me I would enjoy writing about my life as much as I have in the past two months, or how I would meet these incredible people, I would have started this blog a lot sooner! I was sitting down to finish up responding to one comment I had not responded to because I had company when I realized that Sue from Learning to Live with CFS, had come by and left me a comment. I was …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, Award, chronic fatigue syndrome, Fibromyalgia, personal
18 Comments
Improvements all around
I’m am doing better today about my decision to find Bronte a new home. Friday and Saturday were very challenging. I was constantly bombarded with horrible thoughts of her being hurt, mistreated or given to someone else. I had to grab my hold of myself and tell myself the truth a lot in those first 48 hours. Sunday and Monday were much easier and I was once again at peace. I kept remembering what Laurie (the lady who got Bronte) …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, chronic fatigue syndrome, Dekker, Fibromyalgia, health, personal, pugs
17 Comments
PERSEVANCE: the road to EMBRACING my DREAMS
As I sit here on this overcast, grey, cloudy morning, drinking a cup of decaf, organic coffee and listening to Chris Botti’s CD, To Love Again, I have been thinking about all the twists and turns I find in this journey I call life. I can never say my life is boring because I never know what the next day will bring. Sometimes…
Possible home for Bronte
I have narrowed down dozens of individuals interested in Bronte (the fawn pug) to one family. Tomorrow at 2pm I am meeting with them to make sure that it is a good match. If it is, Bronte will be going home with them and will have a new family. I covet your prayers that…
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, Bronte, chronic fatigue syndrome, Fibromyalgia, personal, pugs
17 Comments
Surprise payback
Today I awoke to incredible pain. On a scale of 1 – 10, I am at a 9. I have spent most of the day in bed, taking very hot baths, using heating pads, taking extra Phenocane and whatnot. Despite that, I still couldn’t get the pain under control. It is days like this – the ones that sneak up on me – that are quite challenging for me. I don’t do pain well…
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, chronic fatigue syndrome, Fibromyalgia, pain, payback, personal
26 Comments
Preparing for extended down times
As I watched the weather come in over the weekend, I found myself amazed at how we could have 70 degree weather one day and 56 degree weather with heavy rains the next. As I started pondering that, I realized that I alter my behavior and plans dependent on what kind of weather is rolling in. For instance…
Seven sites for CRASHLESS Shopping
One of my all time favorite movies is, The Net, with actress Sandra Bullock. I watch this movie almost every month. I love the main character, Angela Bennett, who is completely self-sufficient within her own 4Walls. The further along I travel with CFIDS/FMS, the more I find myself mimicking her shopping efficiency through the Internet. I have come to deplore shopping of any kind in traditional stores unless I am having a really good day. In fact, I have come …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, chronic fatigue syndrome, crash, Fibromyalgia, personal, shopping
5 Comments
the PUGS and a VIRUS that won’t quit!
Now to what has been happening in my life since Wednesday’s post. I received a call from a woman on Wednesday night and she and her family are ‘in love’ with the pugs. They will be coming today to meet with them and see how everyone gets along. If all goes well, the pugs may have just found themselves a wonderful new home in Collinsville, Oklahoma which is only about 20 minutes from me. In addition, she will keep me …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, apology, chronic fatigue syndrome, Fibromyalgia, personal, pugs
18 Comments
Am I MASKING?
I read a post several weeks ago that had a really good message. It is one that just wouldn’t let go of me. So I have been mulling it over for several weeks now. I finally got to a point where I needed to ask myself this question, Is there anywhere in my life that I am masking?
Blog Change Update
I hope this note finds everyone having a relaxing and rewarding weekend. I have been pondering a problem I am having with how I write my articles for my blog for some time now, as well as, trying to figure out how to resolve it. Even on good days, I need to have two full days each week where I do nothing but stay in bed, rest, read a book, whatever. There is no exception to this rule for me. …
Sleepless in Tulsa
I actually thought I was going to make it through a whole month without having one episode. It would be the first time in 20 years that, that has ever happened. I would have considered that a miracle. Of course it was not to be. This odd, mysterious, quirk in CFIDS/FMS still happens several times a month. Every month. With only one day left to the month, I thought I was in the clear, but last night proved me wrong. …
Attack on Herbal Supplements!
This post is a little different than my normal posts, but I felt this was very important to get out to all my readers and friends. Hat tip to sodahead.com for posting this letter from the Sunshine Health Freedom Foundation. I thought I would post a portion of it here with a link to the full article to alert any of my readers who may indeed use herbal supplements in full or in part for CFIDS/FMS/ME. In essence, this bill …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), World News
Tagged 4 walls and a view, chronic fatigue syndrome, Fibromyalgia, herbs, McCain, personal, S3002
8 Comments
A DIAMOND in the rough?
I apologize for not having a post up yesterday. I was feeling pretty lousy and just so ready to go to bed. I ended up sleeping 11 hours straight. I am planning to do the same tonight. In addition, I had a phone call about the pugs which left me a wreck. First, the male caller was volleying questions so fast, I was reeling. While he was talking to me, there was tons of noise in the background, so I …
The art of LETTING go
I am still struggling to get over whatever it was that I caught last week. I started taking some de-congestion today and hopefully that will start clearing up my chest, throat, and head in the next couple of days. I will be glad when the coughing fits are over. My ribs are getting very sore from all this coughing. In addition, today was a bit challenging as my cognitive functions was below par for me. I felt as if I …
My gut wrenching decision
Written on Sunday Night @ 6pm I have spent an hour or so vacillating between sadness and anger. I have a decision to make – one that has been coming for about a year now – but I don’t want to do what I know is right. I hate who I become on bad days. I strive to be someone who is positive more often than not; who looks at all the good I have been blessed with. But on …
Defining Moment #1: I said YES
I don’t think one thing has been the ‘miracle’ answer for me in how I continue to keep going forward, but my journey to a more positive outlook has come about through a path of defining moments. One of those defining moments took place at college – Oral Roberts University (ORU) – in the first years I was there. I was required to take Old Testament survey and I can tell you I was none to happy. I had been …
Things I cherish
I wanted to thank everyone who has been praying for me and sending words of encouragement. I think I am on the road to recovery. The fatigue is better, although, I awoke to severe nausea and dizziness. That is usually an indication, however, that I am nearing the end of whatever bug or virus I caught. I have always jokingly said that I know I am near the end of a bug because it lands in my stomach. Usually, I …
One-eyed view
If I thought yesterday was bad, today was worse. Wow! This bug really knocks you to the ground. I spent most of the day in bed. It would take me several hours to regain enough energy to get up, take the dogs out potty, get something to eat, answer my mail and then head back to bed. It is about 20-25 steps from the chair in my living room to the bed in my bedroom. By the time I would …
7,300 days
Well, today it is obvious to me that I have caught some kind of bug. I am running a fever, have a deep cough, am having difficulty breathing, and have the chills which is usually indicative to my having caught a virus or a bug. So, my goal for this week has changed to taking it very slow and resting a lot. As I was laying in my chair-and-a-half (I have figured out I can put my head on one …
Posted in Featured
Tagged "7300", 4 walls and a view, chronic fatigue syndrome, days, Fibromyalgia, personal
22 Comments
Patiently awaiting…A Great Moment
You know when you have one of those days that everything just goes wrong!? Well, that is how the last three days have gone. Dekker, the black pug, ended up at the hospital last Monday (2/8) through Tuesday with a very swollen stomach and this odd ‘honking-like’ sound he kept making. The vet couldn’t find anything wrong so he cleared him and sent him home. The minute we left the Vet’s office, Dekker started the ‘honking-like’ noise again. So I …
Executive decisions
I never knew I could get exhausted just looking at wedding gowns over the internet while on the phone with my daughter! Phew! I spent about 1 1/2 hours looking through dozens of ‘mother’s’ dresses and my daughter and I narrowed down the list to six that I need to go and try on in the next few months. I will be wearing the color ‘truffle’ for my daughter’s wedding in August! I also got to see the dresses the …
Hidden opportunities to IMPROVE my CHARACTER
One of the things I love about blogging is not only do I get to reach out and touch someone, but my readers also get to reach out and touch me. Recently, one of my readers commented on how she struggles using the spam catchers you find on blogs after you leave a comment. She told me how difficult it is for her cognitively to navigate the spam catcher – so much so that she just can’t leave a comment. …
Even still
My view tonight is blanketed in a a solid, black background, while the water looks like polished glass. The city lights are bright and clear, with their reflections languidly bouncing across the surface of the water, projecting dancing hues of color all about. There is a deep stillness that is penetrating the night air – a reminder that most Tulsans are bedded down for the night. The frigid breeze reminds me that winter has yet to depart. While I sit, …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, chronic fatigue syndrome, Fibromyalgia, personal, still
15 Comments
Do YOU sigh a lot?
I have had several people ask about how I am doing. Thank you so much for asking and thinking of me! I am doing better. My body feels the best it has in a while and I am seeing increases in my energy levels. Mentally and emotionally I am still struggling.
I choose PACING
I was sitting here today, trying to decide which of all the coping mechanisms that I use regularly, have proven the most beneficial for me. It didn’t take me long to figure it out because for me, it is not only a necessity, but also enables me to do more with less. I am talking about pacing. I recently read an article that covered the controversy – at least in the world of medicine – of pacing versus Graded Exercise …
Telling MYSELF the truth
Today, I broke down crying. I had …just… had enough… of the pain. I know that I am in a rebound cycle because I am seeing improvement in my energy levels and the FMS pain levels – as long as I stay on top of taking the Phenocane - but having had a really bad crash, the Fibromyalgia kicked in, which then triggered an old military injury in my lower back, which of course then caused my neck to slip …
Removing my obstacles by leaning on my strengths
Can you hear that? Total and complete silence! Ahhhh…I can’t tell you how nice that is. I’m in my pjs and all tucked into bed with my laptop, my cup of tea – orange today – and a hot neck roll around my neck. I so need quiet tonight. I have been battling headaches on and off for the past week and today it is a doozy! Wow! I can’t take Tylenol or Aspirin or anything like that, so I …
I never agreed to this
As I sat here and watched the darkness descend, the fog raised up and met it halfway, leaving most of my view blanketed in a thin wispy veil of greyness. The mood for much of the day has been melancholy and dreary. Even the wildlife are quiet tonight. Today was a odd day. Since it is the beginning of the month, I had to pay all my bills, balance my checkbook, and order all my paper products, herbs and dog …
This is a crazy life
I wish you could smell the aroma in here! Wow. I went to Whole Foods tonight and got a little over a week’s worth of food because I am starting a 7-day detox tomorrow. All I am allowed to drink is water, black tea, and herbal tea. I didn’t have any, so I purchased 2: one mint and one orange. The orange tea is incredible. The aroma is unbelievable. It smells like I just sliced up a bag of fresh, …
The power of PERSPECTIVE
I am now on day 10 of this crash and I see small embers of hope and light! Despite that, I know I have to continue to take it very easy for the next week or two. I do not want a repeat of the past 10 days! This afternoon I was overcome with dizziness, balance problems, the shakes, blurred vision and I had this insatiable desire to get prone as soon as possible. I just felt bad. Anyway, I …
Figuring out I had been 3D’d
If you could see me now, you would see a very big smile on my face even though I am on day nine of one of the worst crashes I have had since I can’t remember when. I am typing my very first article from…a new chair! Nor more sitting on the floor, the sports chair, or my bed…err..forget the bed – that will definitely happen again! Over the weekend, a neighbor of mine moved out and threw away an …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 3-D, 4 walls and a view, FMS, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), personal
7 Comments
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