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IN MEMORY
What I’m Listening 2
Tag Archives: pugs
Boston and Bear …
I am sitting just outisde of Boston at my sister’s house and enjoying the white sky and the white ground. Everything is white. While it is really nice to see so much fluffy, white powder everywhere, it is also nice to know that this is a temporary thing and I can enjoy it for the moment knowing that I will soon be heading home soon. I heard back from the rescue organization – Homeward Bound – and I have passed …
From Empty to Full
I wanted to share something I have been going through with my readers. This may in fact be more of a woman thing but I think it really is applicable to my whole readership. I have been in a bad head and emotional space these last few months. Totally understandable with Dekker’s one year anniversary (death), my father’s sudden heart-attack and quadruple bypass, the birth of my grandson, a betrayal by someone I considered a friend and the severe relapse …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, consequences, Fibromyalgia, FMS, friend, grief, health, hope, journey, life lessons, loss, ME, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), personal, perspective, pugs, Purpose, winning
11 Comments
Learning to LIVE like a DOG
As I sit here in the early morning hours, I am transfixed by the haphazard sprinkle of lights against the black canvas of night. Silence permeats the cloak of darkness, and yet, there is this innate knowing that city life is slowly awakening to brewing pots of coffee and tea, and that a new day will soon be in full force. The melancholiness of the hour mimicks my heart as I realize that today is the one year anniversary of …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, Dekker, friend, grief, hope, journey, life lessons, loss, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME), personal, perspective, pugs
18 Comments
Stand Firm
Grief is a funny thing… These past 3+ weeks since Dekker’s death have been a rollercoaster of emotions. These past few days have found me wanting to move past the grief, and yet, unable to. As I recently told a friend, it felt as if I was stuck in my life and nothing I tried helped me move forward. That is a very hopeless feeling. Several days ago, my friend, Cusp, sent me a note on Facebook telling me about …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, Dekker, grief, journey, life lessons, loss, personal, perspective, pugs
20 Comments
THIS is THAT truth
I find myself straddling a fence, one foot tentatively thrown over towards 2011, while the other is steadfastly anchored in 2010. As my spirit tries to lead me forward into a new year and a new day, my heart struggles to come to terms with letting go of the many things I lost throughout this past year. As I look out the window of my 4Walls and AView, I find myself reviewing 2010. Past years would find me looking for …
lessons I learned from a woman with autism
Sometimes life’s lessons come unexpectedly, and from places we could never imagine, such as books, movies – or even, a woman with autism. As you are well aware as a reader of my blog, I have been overcome with grief at having to have my beloved pug, Dekker Black, put to sleep. These past seven years were filled with a companionship I never truly understood until he was gone. While I knew the decision was right for Dekker, it is …
the gift of Dekker’s life through his death
It seems amazing to me that Dekker has been gone a week already. Somehow, I think my heart and soul have yet to get that message. Anyway, I have been thinking a lot about why my grief has been so profound with Dekker’s passing. I lost a close friend who was like my brother in 2007, and the grief was not as consuming as this is. Thursday I thought the grief would literally kill me. My heart was going crazy. …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, death, Dekker, life, life lessons, loss, pugs
14 Comments
One Smart PUG
Okay. Let me give you some background so I can help you understand why I had to post this today. I am trying to help Dekker understand that he is not allowed on my bed unless my white goose comforter is covered with a blanket or a sheet or something. Try as I might, he just didn’t seem to be getting the message. Or at least I didn’t think he was… This is what I witnessed when I finished up …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, Dekker, laughter, photography, pugs
22 Comments
ONLINE OPEN HOUSE WEEKEND/SUNDAY!
Well, now on to the second day of my ONLINE HOUSE WARMING PARTY! Woo Hoo! I tried and tried to upload the videos I did but to no avail. WordPress apparently does not like my Blackberry security and so the uploads would fail every time. It would have been so cool if it had worked because I was able to add a voice over and even a little intro with me on it. But not to be … at …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, journey, photography, pugs, Tulsa, winning
21 Comments
Determined like Dekker
Losing my home and all my possessions wasn’t just hard on me. There is a black, furry, little guy that has really had a hard time adjusting. Dekker didn’t know what to make of the elevators when we first moved in. I actually can’t imagine…
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, Dekker, determination, journey, life lessons, photographs, pugs
8 Comments
Photo Update
I thought I would do something a little different today. I’m going to share what is going on in my life through pictures. Enjoy!
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, crash, Dekker, photos, pugs, scenic photography
24 Comments
On the other side
I have finally come out on the other side of my four month crash. It is a really great reminder for me to treasure any and all moments because I never truly know what is coming around the corner. I have really been working hard to enjoy every single moment of every day. That sounds like it would be such an easy thing, but I have been dealing with incredible stresses in addition to the laptop fiasco. My father…
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, chronic fatigue syndrome, personal, pugs, stress
16 Comments
Improvements all around
I’m am doing better today about my decision to find Bronte a new home. Friday and Saturday were very challenging. I was constantly bombarded with horrible thoughts of her being hurt, mistreated or given to someone else. I had to grab my hold of myself and tell myself the truth a lot in those first 48 hours. Sunday and Monday were much easier and I was once again at peace. I kept remembering what Laurie (the lady who got Bronte) …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, chronic fatigue syndrome, Dekker, Fibromyalgia, health, personal, pugs
17 Comments
Possible home for Bronte
I have narrowed down dozens of individuals interested in Bronte (the fawn pug) to one family. Tomorrow at 2pm I am meeting with them to make sure that it is a good match. If it is, Bronte will be going home with them and will have a new family. I covet your prayers that…
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, Bronte, chronic fatigue syndrome, Fibromyalgia, personal, pugs
17 Comments
the PUGS and a VIRUS that won’t quit!
Now to what has been happening in my life since Wednesday’s post. I received a call from a woman on Wednesday night and she and her family are ‘in love’ with the pugs. They will be coming today to meet with them and see how everyone gets along. If all goes well, the pugs may have just found themselves a wonderful new home in Collinsville, Oklahoma which is only about 20 minutes from me. In addition, she will keep me …
Posted in Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME)
Tagged 4 walls and a view, apology, chronic fatigue syndrome, Fibromyalgia, personal, pugs
18 Comments
I am not alone…
Tonight the wind is whipping about outside, howling… alerting me to the wintry storm that is headed my way. Night has come and the wind keeps bumping up against my windows, reminding me of its presence. I cannot see my wonderful view tonight for mother nature has obscured it from my sight. Freezing rain clings to the window panels allowing me just a glimpse of what lays beyond the glass. The long lines of dripped, frozen rain, and the thousands …
The dreaded 10 day…
I wish you could have seen my view tonight. The sky was this incredible teal color as night was falling. Stunning! Unfortunately, today is the dreaded 10 day. Today is a horrible day. I have been sitting here for about 30 minutes trying to figure out if I could sit up long enough to write today’s post. I find if I hold my head to the side – it’s just too heavy today to hold straight up - and sit …
A few of MY favorite things…
Today is my second week of this new adventure. Thank you so very much for coming along with me on this journey. 884 of you decided to do just that in these past two weeks. You have proved me wrong and my college professors right! I can’t even begin to tell you how much that blesses me! I have determined that I am in an extended crash – lingo for a severe relapse - but despite that my heart and …
FOUR life-lessons my PUGS taught ME
The view out my window is lovely today. The water looks blue (and that doesn’t happen all too often as the Arkansas river is muddy water!) and the sky has this woven pattern of pale blue and white ribbons. The snow is almost gone and the wildlife on the bird sanctuary in the middle of the river are fluttering about, busy with the days business. There’s even a lone individual trying to catch tonight’s dinner! On my window sill sits …
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