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Today’s Lesson

Today has been quite a surreal one.  I actually felt better today and only had a few ‘spiders’ crawling on me.  I was all ready to write my column and get it done (I have it scratched out in long hand) when I came to my blog to quickly respond to the comments on my blog only to discover that the grey theme had a glitch in it that I couldn’t fix.  Sigh…

So…

I found another theme I thought would work but instead of it working and saving the day, it caused all my widgets, images, everything but my posts and links, to disappear.  I spent 8 hours rebuilding my blog today!  I did it all from my bed but what a mess!  I think I would call that perseverance!

The spiders got really bad again late last night and I also started having patches of skin that felt like someone had taken the potato peeler to sections of my body.  Boy is that a painfully raw sensation when my skin does that!

It’s so odd to me that I’m emotionally and mentally in a good place even though my body decided to have its own party without me.  I’ve actually been in a quiet mood today – other than that one moment when I discovered what had happened to my blog.  Quiet isn’t the word I would use to describe that!  Nope.

For me, quiet usually means introspective and today is was no different.  I kept thinking,

What am I suppose to be learning today?

I believe that there is always something I can learn no matter what situation I find myself in.  Sometimes it is much harder to see the revelation through the trees, but I know it is always there if I will just search.

Today taught me that even in the midst of something that is quite challenging – and to be honest, frustrating – that I can find my center.

The idea of having to rebuild part of my blog and set up a whole new theme that I had never used was overwhelming to say the least.  I actually cried for a few moments.  All I could think of was how I just didn’t have the wherewithal to deal with that today and I needed to work on my column.

But I know myself too well and I couldn’t leave my blog the way it was and have you all come by and not be able to access it.  I also knew that I wouldn’t get any rest until I solved it.

So I stepped back and took a deep breath and tried to figure out what my course of action should be.  Then I did the only thing I could do.  I put one foot in front of the other and just kept moving forward until I had finished with the blog.

Once I approached it with that attitude, I wasn’t so frustrated.  I wasn’t happy about having to do all this work, but I knew in the end I would feel better when it was done.

I think that is how I approach my life with CFIDS and FMS.  I just find enough strength at this moment to put one foot in front of the other.  Many days, that is all I am able to do.  Most days, that is more than enough.

Always, that is the best game plan I can engage in.  Just keep moving forward by putting one foot in front of the other!

Determined to continue forward,

"Author's Signature"

24 thoughts on “Today’s Lesson”

  1. Jo says:

    I did wonder why others were seeing grey while I was seeing white! You’ve done a great job on it. I’ve got work to do today and you’ve reminded me the only way through it, is through it. Bleh! One foot in front of the other.

    1. Dominique says:

      Jo – Are those drugs you’re taking affecting you eye sight!? I see grey too! Just kidding. I wondered if anyone would be caught between the two revisions! I hope you get whatever work you have to get done, done! :-)

  2. Sofa Karen says:

    Oh Dominique. I would have been exactly the same! I would not have been able to leave something that was in the public domain that wasn’t ‘perfect’. I too, would have had a cry first! Well done to you for putting one foot in front of the other for 8 hours. That is a huge task when you don’t feel well. The blog looks great. I hope you are pleased with it after all your effort. And thank you for reminding me, there is always a lesson to be learnt, even if it doesn’t seem obvious at first…x

    1. Dominique says:

      Sofa Karen – I like the new look is just is almost too clean for me. I have emailed to see about muting the white color so it is not such a stark contrast. Still waiting to hear back. This new BETA program actually comes with some amazing features like calling my blog and recording my post and then an audio ‘pod cast’ will be put up for that day! Is that not cool! Anyway, I’m okay with how it turned out. There is always something more I can find to tweak so I have to learn to say enough is enough.

  3. Amy Yannello says:

    Dominique — I can’t believe you’ve had to go through two major revises in two days!! A lesson in STAMINA!!! I really admire your tenacity, and, I’ve said it before, your tech know-how.

    The blog looks great — now, rest! :)

    1. Dominique says:

      Amy – Tech know how. No. It’s called Google! LOL! I read and read until I figure things out, then I do them, and then I usually learn how it works. I learn best by failure. I am resting Ma’am, yes Ma’am! he he :-)

  4. upnorth says:

    One of my favourite quotes since m.e. is: “a journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step”. So appropriate and kind of what you talk about here. I find it especially hard deealing with the little things when I’m feeling ill (let alone having to redo my blog!!!!). I hope you continue to feel a little better….

    1. Dominique says:

      upnorth – I love that quote. What a great quote. Thanks and I am actually feeling better today. Not a 100% but a much needed improvement.

  5. Renee says:

    Goodness! You definnitely have perseverence, having to redo your whole blog. I like you analogy with the CFIDS too. It is simpley putting one foot in front of the other when you can, resting when you can’t. Your bio is very impressive! You are one talented lady and I am glad I get to benefit from your gifts! Have a great day…

    1. Dominique says:

      Renee – :-)

  6. Toni Bernhard says:

    Wow, Dominique. I can’t believe you had to redo this twice and that you only had one short cry over it. I had a friend who would talk about “baby steps” when she was overwhelmed by tasks. So that’s how I think of days like you’re having. Just take baby steps and you’ll get through. I hope you were able to go out and that the air was fresh and clean.

    1. Dominique says:

      Toni – I was able to go out and I had a really enjoyable time AND it was beautiful outside today. Not too hot. A much need break from my apartment.

  7. Rosemary Lee says:

    Wow!!!!!!! You have been a busy bee! Your blog looks beautiful but then I thought the other one was beautiful too! There is shielding and then there is getting a project done with the energy you’ve saved up. I think it has to do with something we love, that does help us find due north. Rest now.

    Feel better soon!

    1. Dominique says:

      Rosemary – :-)

  8. Patricia Stotler says:

    A big thank you for going forward with your blog. Sounds like so much work.
    Whenever I have a project that needs attention I go forward and often
    don\’t rest and eat I\’m so into getting it resolved so I can realax. That sounds
    like a type A. In my earlier years I was sure I was a type B. Has CFS
    caused me to be a type A about certain things. Odd but I think so.
    But after pushing so hard I scold myself – why don\’t you learn to do a little
    rest pace and finish. I just get so absorbed I lose focus on all else. This
    can be a good/bad trait. So if it was too much pushing please don\’t
    beat youself up for not pacing. Be kind to yourself and thank you for
    making it possible to come here. I hope things with just everything settles
    down – from spiders, no food that makes you sick, wedding plans, moving
    (I hope it is after the wedding although you need to get free from the mold)
    Finally what I\’m saying is please please focus on taking care of yourself
    as the wedding is getting close. If you have to let up on the blog for a while
    we all sure will understand.

    1. Dominique says:

      Patricia – I think that is possible because we know we have X amount of energy. I found in school (and my professors noticed) that I would rush through my assignments so I could get done and collapse. I never realized I was doing it until they pointed it out. It’s was overwhelming and exhausting to leave anything on my plate plus I never knew how long my energy would last, so I would get as much done as quickly as possible. So yes, I would think this illness could make you Type A-ish!

      Actually, I have thought about that and am purposefully making time to rest – a lot – so I can attend the wedding in the best shape possible.

      As for the writing, writing soothes my soul. I find it really relaxing and cleansing so unless I am glued to the bed and can’t move, you will usually find me here! :-)

      Thank you for thinking of me! I appreciate that!

  9. Patricia Stotler says:

    Just read your yesterday reply to me but thought maybe I should reply here.
    Must keep you so busy checking on your responses.
    My computer is a 4 year old Dell – to me that is pretty new! Moving to
    BETA and my computer might not like it. What is BETA. I have no clue.
    It is dial up that limits we a lot and makes load up pages so slow.
    Sammy I think has just about had it. I think I know now what to watch
    for. It’s the look in his eyes. He has been so mentally alert and asking
    to go outside. Yesterday he started with new things no just the getting
    thin – but muscles quivering and some shaking. I think it is close. At
    first I read about kidney failure online and advice – at bulletin board/blogs
    or whatever – some say they are simply very tired and others say it
    is painful to die of kidney failure. With my cat my bro who is a vet
    said leave her alone until she stops eating, walking, using her cat box.
    My cat never stopped eating but the rest yes and I took her you no where
    to do you know what. I just guess no one can make the call for me.
    I’m afraid I’ll wait too long because he does sleep a lot and wants to me near
    me. I can’t give his life back so it is so hard to think of taking it. If pain
    was real obvious I wouldn’t hesitate. I will miss him so much but will
    be relieved when he does leave even if very sad at the loss. He became
    ill 4/20 so it has been 9 weeks. Every night I hope he’ll easily go in
    his sleep every am I come to see and he is still here with me and I’m glad
    and stressed. Well for now I am just really repeating stuff. Dominique
    you are so kind to ask about my best friend. Believe me I will let you
    know when he is being taken care of by his creator. We do not know for
    sure if animals have heaven, but when God created all animals in His
    perfect world he said it was very good. So I guess in my thinking I like
    to think that when Jesus comes back and restores the world to perfection
    we might be delighted to see our beloved pets are also there. Nice thought

    1. Dominique says:

      Patricia – Oh…that made me cry. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Sammy has quite the fighting spirit it appears.

      I actually believe that we will see animals in heaven because the Bible talks about the lamb lying with the lion (I think that’s how it goes). It would be nice to see Sammy all well and happy!

  10. Mo says:

    Dominique, I like this theme, it’s easy to read. I’ve been so busy with my Mom in the hospital I haven’t had time to comment much, but I’ve been reading. Hope those spiders go away soon.
    xomo

    1. Dominique says:

      Mo – You’re mom is in the hospital? I did not realize that?! I hope everything works out. Sending lots of hugs, thoughts, and prayers your way – for you and your mom! :-)

  11. Patricia Stotler says:

    OF COURSE IN PERSON FRIENDS IS BEST. BUT THROUGH YOUR
    BLOG AND A FEW OTHER CHRONICALLY ILL PEOPLE WHO
    SHARE THEIR STRUGGLES WITH ME – I HAVE NO DOUBT YOU
    CAN FORM FRIENDSHIP AND REAL AFFECTION FOR OTHERS
    THIS WAY. I’M SO BLESSED THAT MY BROTHER GAVE ME A COMPUTER.
    SORRY TO BUG YOU BUT IS BETA GOING TO BE A PROBLEM NOW
    THAT I HAVE SAID MY DELL IS 4 YEARS OLD. I SUPPOSE I COULD
    DO A SEARCH ON BETA. I FORGET THAT THE COMPUTER KNOWS
    EVERYTHING!!

    1. Dominique says:

      Patricia – I would say it is not going to be a problem. The conflict that caused havoc on my blog isn’t happening anymore because now your posts look just like every body elses. When I upgraded to the BETA you posts started laying out really narrow and long in the comment box. It was odd. But now they are laying out in the normal manner like everyone else so I think you’re good. BTW – four years for a laptop isn’t bad. Mine is about 6 years old so I think your just fine with the laptop you have. It is probably like you said, the dial up that makes it difficult for you.

  12. Hulbert Lee says:

    Inspiring post Dominique. Sometimes disasters can happen to us and make feel horrible. I definitely had my fair shares of frustrations dealing with WordPress that literally made me cry on some nights. I’m glad you perservered through your struggle here, but more importantly, like what Tony Robbins would say, you asked the right question! Instead of asking a negative question, you asked a positive one and your mind gave you an answer to move you in a positive direction. Good job with this and good job on rebuilding your blog. It looks nice!

    1. Dominique says:

      Hulbert Lee – Thank you for coming by and taking the time to leave a comment and thank you for the cudos. I’m glad you like the new look!

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